Ere the Sun Rises
by Anath Tsurugi
Summary: In order to punish Thorin and Bilbo, Thorin's father curses their firstborn son, ..but when the curse finally falls upon his head, he isn't Kili will do anything to set his brother ..even if it means breaking both their (Inspired by 'East of the Sun and West of the Moon', fairytale AU, Durincest, mpreg)
1. Part One

(A/N) I apologize most sincerely for the delay in getting this latest fairytale to my dear readers. It's been a busy few months, to say the least, what with con-going and the flooding in Boulder (which is, yes, where I live, but I should hope the fact that I'm posting anything at all suggests that I'm alive and kicking; it's just been…interesting). All that, plus some pretty nasty sides of writer's block. The going has definitely been uphill.

Warnings: Durincest, of course, along with mpreg, rape, violence, bestiality (kinda, it's a little bit of a grey area, really), and no small amount of angst and mental torture, as per pretty much the norm with these fairy stories. This one will be a tale in four parts. So sit back, relax, and enjoy...

**Ere the Sun Rises**

_**Part One**_

_Once upon a time, which is all times and no times, but not the best of times, there lived a young dwarf prince who couldn't find a consort._

_ It was not for lack of trying on his part…or on the part of all the eligible young dwarves in the kingdom. The prince simply had not met anyone who caught his eye. That changed one day when a delegation from the land of the halflings arrived, though, bringing with it the son of some lesser noble among the halflings. The young noble had been nearly outraged when the prince had spilled red wine on his waistcoat and the prince had been smitten almost immediately…though it took him some time to admit that. When that time came, the pair went breathlessly into each other's arms._

_ The king of the dwarves was outraged when he discovered their trysts, saying he would never allow his son to put a halfling on the throne beside him, but there was little he could say when the halfling fell pregnant by his son. By the ancient magic of their line, it happened that whenever the king, or the king apparent, as the case may be, chose a partner in love, true love, that person would bear a child, be they male or female. _

_ Enraged, the king abdicated his throne and fled the kingdom, leaving the prince and his love free to marry and govern the land as they saw fit. The former king had not forgotten them, though, as they soon learned…at the birth of their firstborn son._

XxX

"Hello, Fili," Bilbo cooed softly to his infant son, who reached a hand up out of the blanket he was wrapped in to grasp the finger he held before his face. Fili burbled sweetly for several more minutes before yawning and falling fast asleep.

"You probably ought to take a leaf from his book," Thorin said, not taking his eyes off their sleeping son. He hadn't moved from where he sat beside Bilbo on their bed ever since the healers had finished cleaning up after the birth.

"I don't know if I _could_ sleep now. I feel…strangely awake. I know I should be tired…after that, but I just…I don't want to stop looking at him. He's so beautiful, Thorin," Bilbo said, looking up at his husband with a hint of tears in his eyes.

"And here you were worried you would disappoint me," Thorin said, leaning in for a kiss. "That's quite impossible. Perhaps now you'll believe me. No prince has ever been lovelier. The maidens will be throwing themselves at him."

"The lads, too," Bilbo said, offering his husband a wink and a kiss on the nose.

"Of course…anyone with eyes, really," the king said, leaning down to give Fili a soft, whiskery kiss on his forehead. "That's my son…my Fili."

"Yes…the little half breed really is lovely, isn't he," a new voice sneered.

Thorin and Bilbo both snapped up, heads turning in the direction of the unexpected sound, only to see the former king standing at the window.

"Father," Thorin growled low in his throat, wrapping a protective arm around his husband's shoulders and keeping little Fili carefully between them. As he watched Thrain approach, he couldn't help but notice he now wore an eye-patch.

"Where did you come from?" Bilbo asked, trying not to let his worry show.

"Dwarves have more capability for sorcery than you realize, halfling," Thrain said as he circled slowly around their bed. "I'd like to show you first hand, if you think you're feeling up for it."

"Get out of here _now!_" Thorin snarled, reaching for his sword. "You've no business here."

"I'll be the judge of that, my boy," Thrain said, sneering as he raised a hand. Immediately, the sword became molten hot in Thorin's hand, forcing him to drop it. Fili woke with a cry as the blade clattered uselessly to the floor.

"What do you want?" Bilbo asked, holding Fili as close as he possibly could.

"To show you what a mistake you made in agreeing to marry Thorin. Of course you know by now of the line of Durin's ability to get children on their chosen mates. I don't imagine halflings have such power."

"No."

"In fact, I don't imagine your kind have much power at all."

"You'd be surprised," Bilbo said, keeping his face carefully blank.

"Nothing that could possibly be of any use to a dwarven prince, I'd wager. Think for a moment…about what you've done. With _your_ blood, half of your child's heritage is lost. What happens if he failed to inherit the ability to give a child to his chosen mate? What becomes of him if dear little Fili should choose a male? He will have no choice in the matter. He will be trapped…and it will be _your_ doing."

Bilbo had nothing to say to this. In truth, it was a possibility he'd considered, but there was really nothing to be done about it. He had not made a choice to love Thorin; it had simply happened…and…was it not better to be with Thorin and to have Fili…than to not have either of them? To lose this happiness to a fear that may prove to be unfounded?

"Don't listen to him," Thorin said softly, making sure to keep himself between his father and his new family.

"Yes…because it's clearly so easy for you to not listen to your father, Thorin. What sort of father will that make you, I wonder?"

"Don't think you can get into my head. You can't hurt me. No matter what you might do to me, it won't change the fact that he loves me…or that I love him…so do your worst."

"Oh, I intend to. You see, it isn't you that I mean to hurt. There are other ways of reaching your hearts," the former king said, and with another wave of his hand, Fili disappeared from Bilbo's arms, reappearing in Thrain's. Immediately, the dwarfling began to wail.

"_NO!_" Bilbo screamed, attempting to jump up from the bed, but unable to for the labor his body had just gone through. "Don't hurt him! _Please_ don't hurt him! Please!"

"No need to fuss, little one. I won't harm him…not physically, anyway. I will see you both punished for defying me. I'm going to give your little boy a gift…a gift that will tear your precious _family_ apart."

"Thrain, if you don't put him down-" Thorin started, but Thrain soon interrupted.

"Promises, Thorin. You won't touch me while I'm holding your boy…which will give me just enough time for a little curse."

"Curse?" Bilbo repeated in shock.

"Yes. When Fili reaches his sixty-fifth birthday, he will transform into something horrible and vicious…a hideous beast that no living creature could love."

"No!" Bilbo pleaded, struggling against both Thorin and his own traitorous body to no avail. "Please…you can't _do this._"

"I will not hurt the two of you, no. Your baby boy will be the one to suffer for what you've done. You will see what your _love_ does to this kingdom. Much joy may it bring you," he said, chuckling wickedly as he vanished, leaving Fili behind in Bilbo's arms.

"Oh…oh…" Bilbo cried out several times, clutching the wailing infant tightly against his chest. "Oh, Fili…_Fili!_"

"Mahal preserve us," Thorin muttered as he rose from the bed, throwing a furious punch at the stone wall. "That damned-"

"Thorin," Bilbo called softly, looking to him with tears in his eyes as he soothed their son. "What will we do? What will we _do?_"

Feeling his anger abate at the sight of his husband and son in such distress, Thorin moved back to the bed, sitting down beside them. Then he rested a hand on Fili's small head, his expression going soft and gentle.

"We…will find a way to break this curse. There _has_ to be a way."

"And…if we can't?"

"We will…but if we cannot manage it before he turns sixty-five, then…we will just have to face it when it comes. We will do what we must to protect our child."

XxX

_The new king and his consort never did tell their son about the curse on his head. They told no one, allowing the prince to believe he was like any other dwarf child while they desperately searched for a counter spell._

_ In time, the king's consort gave birth to a second son, and the oldest loved his dark-haired baby brother as no dwarf before him ever had. The two princes grew up together, closer than most siblings…closer than most __**people,**__ some thought. The two princes paid them no mind, though…or at least they _**_tried_**_ not to. For in their secretest hearts, both brothers carried thoughts that were not strictly brotherly in nature…a stray thought of what his lips might taste like…or a thought of the beauty of his bare chest when he removed his clothing, afraid and wanting to view lower…his warmth in their shared bed on cold winter nights…and the line of sweat that trailed wantonly down his back on hot summer days. And very occasionally…the truly forbidden thought…_

_**Brother…dear brother…what would you feel like…between my legs?**_

_ They both longed to reach out and touch each other, but neither dared to take such a step, fearing to destroy the love they already cherished so fiercely. Wasn't what they had better than having nothing at all?_

_ The years passed in this way, with the two brothers dancing around each other, close as the press of holding hands, but never closer, fearing their desires. The days wound down to the older prince's sixty-fifth birthday and their parents were no closer to finding a solution, dreading the day of their firstborn's coming of age. The two princes, though, simply went on with their lives, secretly wanting each other, never knowing that their innocent happiness was about to come to an end…that in the coming days, their lives would change forever._

XxX

"Do you think maybe Father and Papa might have some sort of surprise for your birthday?" Kili mused as he and Fili traipsed through the forest. "They both looked so odd this morning."

"Well, maybe they're just sad to see their _baby boy_ growing up," Fili teased, ruffling his brother's hair.

The two princes had spent the afternoon in their favorite meadow, enjoying a picnic lunch away from all the others. The official celebration of Fili's birth would be taking place later that evening and the brothers were on their way back to the city for it.

"Maybe…but…they looked more worried than sad, I thought."

"You think too much, my love," Fili continued with his quiet teasing. He always called Kili that. Whether his little brother understood just how deeply he meant it or not, he didn't know.

"Maybe," Kili repeated, stealing a glance at his brother, whose eyes were fixed on the ground in front of them. He wasn't sure what, but it seemed to him he could almost see something flickering in his brother's eyes. He wanted to look harder, but Fili caught him staring the next minute and he was forced to look away, his face going a violent shade of red.

Fili saw the look on his brother's face and felt himself go a touch red. Maybe…maybe today was the day? He had long suspected…that maybe his feelings were returned, but he was just as terrified as ever he had been. What if he was wrong? Though…something just felt different about today. He couldn't understand what it was, but…he somehow felt that if he didn't tell Kili today…right now…that he would never be able to…or that he would lose his chance for a very long time.

"Kili?" he started, stopping his brother with a hand on his shoulder. "Can…can we stop for a moment?"

"Yes," Kili said, trying to get a look at his brother's face, but unable to get a good look as Fili led him away from the path. By the time Fili let go of his hand, they'd reached a clearing. Fili continued to pace, but Kili hung back.

"Fili…is something wrong?"

"There's…something I've been wanting to tell you…for several years now…but I'm not sure if I know how to say it," the blond dwarf said, not quite looking at his brother.

"Fili-"

"It's…I'm just…scared, Kili. I'm scared," he hissed, finally moving back to Kili and dropping to his knees before him, taking his hands in his.

"What…what are you scared of, Brother?" Kili asked, feeling a little fear himself as he gripped Fili's hands tightly in his.

"I'm afraid of myself," he said quietly, even though that wasn't what he'd meant to say. As he gazed into Kili's eyes, he felt something strange begin to stir inside of him. Something…something was _wrong_.

"What do you mean?"

"I…I'm not sure," he said, his grip tightening even more. His heart felt like it was literally on fire. "Something…isn't right."

"Fili…Fili, you're hurting me," the younger dwarf protested, feeling pain shoot through his hands as his brother's fingers dug into his.

Fili cried out as he tore himself away from Kili, clutching his head in desperate hands. His whole body was aflame now.

"_Fili!_"

"You've got to get away from here! _Run!_" he growled, his voice more animal than dwarf.

"Brother, I can't…what about you?" Kili pleaded, trying to get closer to Fili, who was now writhing on the ground in agony.

"_GO!_" Fili snarled at him, baring his teeth, which seemed to become sharp as daggers. He spoke more but the words were lost in his shifting mouth. Kili took several steps back, horror in his eyes as he watched his brother's transformation.

Fili's small dwarven frame burst outward into something hulking and four-legged. His beautiful golden hair disappeared and white fur rippled out across his skin as his muscles bulged. His hands and feet changed into massive paws, each one armed with killing claws. Kili shook in fear as his brother's cry of agony changed into the roar of a horrible beast. By the time the transformation was complete, a gigantic white bear was standing before him, more than two times his own size.

For several minutes, the bear just stood, shaking its great head back and forth, as if trying to shake something off.

"Fili?" Kili called softly, nervously, taking a few steps toward the bear. Still dazed and confused, the bear smacked him hard across the chest with one massive paw, sending him flying into a tree. Kili hit the ground with a pained cry. This the bear heard, though, for it focused in on him. For a moment, it sized him up, then let out an enraged roar before charging straight at him. Kili was too dazed and petrified to move…and didn't really get his senses back until the white bear clamped its powerful jaws down on his left shoulder, teeth tearing through flesh and muscle.

Kili screamed in agony as blinding pain ripped through his body…and it was the sound of his distress that finally seemed to reach the bear through its haze of anger and confusion. Slowly, the bear dropped the young prince, laying him out gently on the ground. Then it seemed to look him over again, lingering over the injury to his shoulder before finally looking into his eyes.

Kili knew it wasn't possible…knew that the severity of his injuries could have easily caused delusion…but he still somehow recognized Fili behind those large, dark bear eyes. He didn't know how…but this was still his brother.

"Fili?" he whispered, tears in his eyes as he reached up his good hand to stroke the bear's- Fili's –massive maw. "It _is_ you, isn't it. My brother…you're still in there."

Fili seemed to flinch when Kili's hand came into contact with his fur. His large eyes shifted back to the grievous wound in his brother's shoulder…the wound _he'd put there!_ Standing on his hind legs, Fili threw his great head to the sky and let out a roar of grief, horror, and anguish. Then he bolted off through the trees.

"Fili, wait!" Kili called out, wincing in pain as he forced himself to sit up. Where did Fili think he was going?

_Oh, no._

The city…back to the castle, to where all of the guests for his birthday were gathering. That was where Fili was going; and if the guards took even one look at him, they would kill him on sight. They wouldn't recognize him…not like Kili did. So, forcing himself up past the pain in his body, past his mauled shoulder and the blood that was flowing freely from the wound, Kili got to his feet, slowly dragging his battered body through the trees, leaving a trail of blood spatters behind him.

"Fili! Stop! Come back! They'll _kill you!_" he called weakly, even though he knew his brother could no longer hear him.

Fili, meanwhile, could handle only very simple thoughts as a bear, and he was currently consumed by one very powerful, very painful thought.

_I hurt Kili. __**I hurt Kili! I HURT KILI!**_

The guilt overwhelmed him, driving out all other thoughts. He hardly even noticed when he crashed into a table laden with food. The screams that sounded in his ears were more nuisances than anything else. The fact that he was a _bear_ hardly even registered in his mind. All he could see was Kili lying on the forest floor, the leaves turning red where he lay. The scent of Kili's blood overwhelmed his newly sensitive nose, driving him even further into despair. He screamed and the sound left his throat as a roar.

_Kili! Kili! What have I done?! __**Kili!**_

Kili emerged from the woods to find Fili barreling through his own birthday celebration, tearing through everything and sending terrified dwarves running for their lives. The palace guards were already surrounding the rampaging bear.

"No! _Stop!_" Kili screamed, forcing himself to run, even though his shoulder burned with pain.

"Kili, what are you doing?!" he heard Papa's panicked cry as he ran, but he couldn't spare him the time. He _had_ to get to Fili.

The guards were ready to fire a volley of arrows at the enraged beast by the time Kili broke their circle, but he paid them no mind. He ran straight to his brother.

"Yer Highness, get back!" the captain, Dwalin, ordered.

"You're hurt!" another protested.

"Dwalin, wait! Don't shoot!" his father ordered.

Kili heard none of it. He approached Fili cautiously, arms held as wide as he could manage with his injury.

"It's all right, Fili. It's all right. I'm all right."

Fili stopped moving when Kili approached, tethered to the spot by the scent of his brother's hot blood. He held still, but he continued to bellow in his strange new bear voice.

"It's all right," Kili continued to soothe, taking Fili's massive head in his arms. "I know you're frightened…and upset, but it's going to be all right. I'm going to protect you…always…I promise. Please…don't cry," he pleaded, knowing that even as there were tears pouring down his own face, his brother was also crying, even though he was no longer able to shed tears.

Giving one last long bellow, Fili collapsed onto his side. Kili went with him, curling up against his brother's hulking shoulder.

"Fili?" the young prince heard their father's shocked gasp.

"You can't hurt him," Kili called weakly over his shoulder. "It's Fili. It's my brother. I won't…let you hurt him."

Consciousness was already slipping when Kili heard their father order, "My son is injured. Get him inside."

Kili didn't feel the hands pulling him away from Fili. His world had narrowed to the musky scent of his brother's large body and the warm softness of his white fur pressed against his cheek and clutched in his hands. He dreamt of that white soft warmth as he drifted out onto a sea of unconsciousness.

XxX

When Kili finally managed to climb out of the darkness, it was to the sound of his parents' hushed voices overhead.

"Fili," he called, struggling to sit up. "Where is Fili?"

"Kili, stop. You mustn't move," he heard Papa's worried voice at his ear as a hand pushed against his chest, holding him down on the bed he lay on.

"No!" Kili argued, fighting both his papa and the pain. "My brother…where's my brother?!"

"Kili, calm down," his father ordered, both stern and concerned in the same breath. "Fili is here. He's…all right."

"I want to see him," Kili said, finally managing to open his eyes and look up at his parents. He was in his own room, lying in his own bed…his and Fili's bed.

Thorin and Bilbo both helped their youngest son to sit up. The light from the fireplace only dimly lit the chamber, but in the glow from the fire, Kili could see his brother in a far corner, sitting on his haunches. He had no idea how he could tell, but Fili looked worried. Kili offered him a tired smile.

"Fili…it's all right. Please…come here. I want to see you."

Fili shook his large head several times, turning away from him in shame. Kili's face crumpled in misery, but he soon put on a cheerful façade for his brother, trying to tease like they used to, even if it was only a shadow of their former happiness.

"Get over here, you nasty little goblin. I'm hurt and I should get whatever I want, even if it _is_ your birthday. Right now I want my big brother, so get your furry arse over here," he demanded, smiling, even though he felt more like crying.

Fili chuffed several times, looking indignant, before getting to his feet and lumbering to the bed. When they were finally together again, Kili wrapped his good arm around Fili's neck, briefly burying his face in his beautiful fur before looking back up at their parents.

"What's happened to him?"

"A curse," Papa said quietly. "A curse from a bitter old dwarf."

"What do you mean?"

"_My_ curse, to be exact," a new voice said. The little family looked up to see an old dwarf approaching them.

"Thrain," Thorin snarled.

"Thrain?" Kili repeated in confusion. "Thrain, your father, Thrain?"

"How do you like your birthday present, my little Fili?" the old dwarf asked, stepping forward to stroke the fur of his grandson's back. "I haven't seen you since the day you were born. You've _grown up_ quite a bit since then, haven't you."

Fili snarled at Thrain, turning his head to snap at him. He nearly managed to take his hand off, but the former king quickly poofed to the other side of the room.

"_You_ did this?" Kili demanded, eyes burning with rage.

Thrain laughed at the young prince, very much enjoying his helpless anger. "Yes."

In that moment, Kili forgot that he'd been badly injured and had lost a lot of blood. He threw himself at his grandfather with a cry of rage. Thorin and Bilbo both held him back and Fili stood between them, snarling at the former king.

"Change him back! _Now!_" he demanded.

"Or you'll do what, exactly? You're no match for me, little Kili."

"Why would you do this? Fili's never done anything to you!"

"No…but your _parents_ have. This is a punishment for _them_…and they've known it was coming ever since I bestowed the curse sixty-five years ago."

All the fight drained out of Kili at this. "What's he saying?" he asked, looking at each of them in turn. "You knew this would happen?"

The two rulers looked both saddened and guilt-ridden at their son's words…and those looks were all the confirmation Kili needed.

"We searched for a way to stop it," Bilbo recounted. "We searched…and we searched and searched…and almost before we knew it…the day of Fili's sixty-fifth birthday was dawning."

"You will never break the curse. You will find it quite impossible. However, Grandson, because you asked _so_ nicely, I'll let you in on a few secrets," the old dwarf said, holding up a hand. Immediately, magic began to swirl around Fili, forcing the transformation to move in reverse…until the blond dwarf was left on his knees on the stone floor, naked and trembling, gazing on his hands in shock.

"What…what's happening?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

Thorin and Bilbo didn't hold Kili back this time. Despite his heavily bandaged shoulder, the young prince fairly flew from the bed, landing behind Fili and sweeping him into his arms.

"By day, you will walk as a great white bear. Only at night will you be free to walk as a dwarf. You will live seven years in this way, and you will have until the end of that time to find someone who will love you as you are, for no one can see your face. If you should fail in this…to find a consort in the allotted time and produce an heir, or if, after tonight, someone should see your face before that time is up…then you will belong to me."

Fili could only stare at their grandfather in shock, but Kili continued to glare at him. "Why? Why would you _do_ this?" he repeated.

"To show your parents the mistake they have made…how easily our line may be broken. For indeed, who could love your brother as he is in the light of day? He will find no one…and when the seven years have passed, the boy will be mine."

"No, he won't," Kili growled, his tone nearing that of his brother's bear voice. "I have never known a finer dwarf than my brother. Anyone would be blessed to have him. He _will_ find someone. Somewhere out there is a person who will see past his cursed flesh…one who will love him…and be worthy of everything he is," he declared, even though he could feel his heart breaking at the thought of willingly giving Fili to another.

Thrain stared at him strangely for a moment before laughing mockingly in his face. "We will see," he said before vanishing back into the darkness from whence he'd come.

Silence reigned in the chamber for several moments after the former king had gone. When Bilbo attempted to approach his two sons, laying a hand on Kili's uninjured shoulder, Kili flinched away from him.

"Leave," he ordered, his voice raspy.

"Kili-"

"You knew. You _knew_ this would happen…and you said nothing. You have _no_ say in what happens to us anymore. Now _get out!_ I want to be alone with my brother."

Bilbo looked as if Kili had physically struck him, but he did ultimately leave the room, looking ready to burst into tears. Thorin glared sternly at his youngest son, who scowled defiantly back.

"I will allow this childish behavior for one night…but only because we did wrong in our choice not to tell you of this. Make no mistake, Kili, you _will_ be punished for this. I will not have you disrespect your papa so."

Kili showed no remorse. He only continued to glare at Thorin.

"Get out."

Thorin finally did so, closing the door behind him and leaving his sons alone.

Fili was still kneeling where he'd crumpled, still in shock. For a long while, Kili just held him, running his fingers through his now unbraided hair and murmuring soothingly to him.

"It's going to be all right, Fili. We can get through this. I'm going to help you."

"Help me? Help me what?" Fili asked him as he helped them to their bed.

"I'll…help you find someone, of course," he said, smiling at him as they lay down together. "We'll search until we find someone. I _know_ your love is out there somewhere."

Fili knew he couldn't say it now. If Kili was talking about finding someone for him, he obviously didn't love him the way Fili loved him. Thrain was right. He would find no one. There was nothing anyone could do for him. He would just have to live out his seven years as a bear…then go to Thrain at the end of it…whatever the former king had planned for him. There was nothing left for him now.

"You're in no condition to travel," Fili pointed out. "You're hurt. _I_ hurt you."

"We'll just wait a few weeks then. I'll be fine. We'll solve this together…just like we do everything else," Kili said, running his hands over his brother's face…through his loose golden hair.

"You should rest," Fili said, offering Kili a sad smile as he rested a hand on top of his. "You won't heal if you don't take care of yourself."

"I'll sleep tomorrow. If I'm not to see your face again for seven years…I want to have my fill of looking now."

"Not much to look at…but if it's what you want, I'll give it to you," he said, gently nuzzling his brother's hand

"Too right you will," Kili said, leaning in to kiss his forehead. The two stayed awake long into the night, just looking at each other.

XxX

The sun had not yet risen when Fili crept from the city, hooded and cloaked. At the very least, he wanted to be allowed to leave his home in his own shape…and he didn't want to force Kili to join him on this pointless quest. Kili deserved the chance to live his own life…to have a home and be loved by their parents and their people. He deserved a chance to find love for himself…and not to be bound to Fili's hopeless fate. So he had left his beautiful baby brother sleeping in their bed and crept silently from the castle.

The prince hadn't gone more than ten feet into the woods, though, when he heard a painfully familiar voice.

"Where do you think _you're_ going?" Kili asked him as he stepped out of the foliage, outfitted for a long journey.

Fili returned the question with a question of his own. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't you think I know you better than that, Brother? I knew you would try to leave me behind, out of some misguided attempt at nobility, so I made ready for the journey before dawn while you slept."

"Kili, you're _hurt._ Badly. You're in no condition to make this journey. You should go back. Go back to your bed and heal."

"Maybe you've forgotten, but that bed belongs to _us._ I'm not going to leave you to suffer this alone. Even if you _did_ leave me…I'd just follow you. I'd search until I found you. You won't quit me that easily."

"Kili…please…don't do this," he begged with tears in his eyes. "Go back. Live your life. Leave me to my grief."

The playful light in Kili's eyes dimmed at this and it killed Fili to see it. His eyes darkened and he looked like he might cry. Slowly, he came to Fili, nearly collapsing against his chest and clinging to him with all the strength he possessed.

"Please…don't leave me. Don't leave me here. Let me stay by your side. How will I live…knowing you are alone? I couldn't take it. Let's go together…just the two of us…like always."

"Oh, Kili," Fili cried softly, finally feeling the tears scar his cheeks as he held his brother close. "You take my strength from me…you always have. I could never turn you away. But…what about Father and Papa?"

Kili's expression hardened as he looked up at him, anger sparking in his eyes. "I said already, didn't I? They have no say anymore. They obviously have no care for us…not telling us of this."

Fili smiled sadly as he ran his fingers through his brother's hair. They wouldn't be fingers much longer. "It's a little more complicated than that, but I know better than to try and stop your anger when you want to be angry."

"You don't blame them?"

"No. There's no reason to. They did what they thought was right…just like we're doing now."

For several minutes, they stood holding each other, touching each other's faces and looking into each other's eyes, the words they wanted to say to each other stuck in their throats. So many words…_too_ many.

"Fili…I-"

"Kili…do you remember yesterday…when I wanted to tell you something?"

"Yes."

"Well…I…"

Kili was listening raptly, but in the moments Fili was hesitating, the younger prince saw the glint of light in his brother's golden hair. Gasping at the sight, he turned to see the light coming through the trees.

"Sunrise," he said, a note of panic in his voice as he turned back to Fili. The older dwarf had a look of defeat in his eyes.

"Kili…thank you," he said softly, leaning forward to kiss his younger brother's forehead. When he pulled back, Kili gripped his face a moment, gazing into his eyes. Then the transformation began to happen.

Fili took several steps back as his muscles began to ripple and bulge, bursting out as the white fur spread across his body. It wasn't nearly as horrific the second time around. In fact, Kili found it almost…beautiful.

Before long, the great white bear was standing before the young prince once again. Giving a low whine, he slowly lowered himself to his belly. It took Kili a moment to realize what he meant.

"Are…are you sure?"

Fili nodded his great head, giving his shoulders a good shake. Smiling slightly, Kili used his good arm to pull himself up onto his brother's back. Fili made sure he was well settled before getting to his feet once again. Then they headed off into the forest, Kili looking all the smaller astride his brother's massive shoulders.

XxX

_And so the two brothers wandered, moving upward toward the northern climates, as that sort of weather was better suited to the older prince's bear form. They wandered from village to village, searching for a dwarf who would be willing to hear their tale. The younger prince tried, but he could never find anyone his brother was completely happy with. The older prince could find no being in all the world to match his brother's beauty. Occasionally, he would choose someone to lie with, but only for the sake of making his brother happy, not out of any actual interest in any of them. _

_ He tried both men and women, all of them swept away by the romantic notion of a prince under a spell. Nothing ever came of these trysts, though. Not one of his partners fell pregnant. It hadn't been known if the older prince even possessed the ancient ability of their line…to sire a child on his choice of mate, but they were beginning to suspect that he must, for it was also said that any union outside of that one love match would never bear fruit, though the truth of that claim was uncertain. If not even one female had become pregnant by his seed, did it not stand to reason that there was only one being in all the world who would? On lonely nights when the golden-haired prince lay with his sleeping, blindfolded brother in his arms, he sometimes allowed himself to wonder if…maybe he really __**was**__ his mate? _

_ As a bear, the older prince's sense of smell was much stronger than it was as a dwarf, and as he walked as a bear, he gradually began to learn what all of the new scents meant. He could smell the differences between prey. He could smell blood before it was spilled. He knew the scents of different plants. Even water and snow had their own scents. The most intriguing of all, though, was the scent of his brother. He could tell when the younger dwarf was sad or discouraged, or when he was happy, even when he was angry, just by how he smelled. He didn't get scent nearly that strong with any other dwarf. Dwarves just had a general scent of their own that differentiated them from other bears and from other kinds of animals, but his little brother…he could read __**him**__ in the scent that came from his skin. The scent of his beautiful baby brother was intoxicating. In bear form, it caused him to salivate and as a dwarf the memory of it left his body aching with desire. There was also something intangible about it, as well. Something about the scent of his brother that was almost always with him…but had little to do with his emotions. As he could tell when his brother was weak or sick, this intangible quality had something to do with the state of his body. It called to him in a way he didn't understand and he wasn't able to figure it out for a long time._

_ The younger prince's injured shoulder healed well, but there came a time, some three years into their wandering, when he fell ill. Nothing the older prince did seemed to help any and his brother soon slipped into unconsciousness. He was then forced to seek outside help._

XxX

For several days, Fili had watched the pair of twins, and they had seen him. They both had dark eyes, much like Kili, and the younger one had a single green eye. She seemed to realize that he was not what he seemed and encouraged her sister not to be afraid when the two of them came to him on the outskirts of the village near the end of the day. Being careful not to frighten them, he lowered himself to his belly…as he'd only ever done for Kili before.

The twin with the green eye understood easily enough and pulled her sister with her up onto his back. Once they were settled, Fili headed back into the snow-covered forest from whence he'd come, carrying the two girls to the place his brother lay, comatose.

Kili had been coughing and shaking for about a week. He hadn't been able to help hunt, so Fili had assured him he would take care of everything, bringing him fresh kills and making a weak stew for him when he had the use of his hands at night. Neither the food nor the herbs he brought for him did any good, though, and only the day before, Kili's cough had worsened and he was unable to do anything but lay under their thick fur blanket, shaking with chills and fever. He had fallen asleep around nightfall the previous day and Fili hadn't been able to rouse him since. Fearing for his brother's life, he'd gone to the village they'd discovered earlier in the week to seek out the only people who might help him.

Indeed, when the older twin spotted Kili lying helplessly at the mouth of their cave, she slid right off of Fili's back and hurried to the stricken prince, checking for a fever.

"Oh, Mahal, the poor thing's burning up with fever. Tiri, run home and fetch mother's herb kit…and bring a crock of that lentil soup that's on the fire."

Nodding, the younger sister, Tiri, jumped down from Fili's back without waiting for him to kneel down, hurrying to do as she was bid.

While she waited, the older twin busied herself making their fire bigger. There was nothing cooking in the small pot over the dying fire, so she began to shovel handfuls of snow into it, readying to boil water. As she worked, she would occasionally glance at Fili, who sat on his haunches at the edge of the small clearing, watching intently. He could see that there was fear in her eyes without her sister here to calm her, but she gradually began to understand that he meant her no harm. As she sponged the sweat from Kili's brow with a section of her own skirt, she looked back at him.

"You're worried about him…aren't you? You care for him. That's why you brought us here."

Fili nodded his large head, his only other answer a low whine. He was worried _sick_ about Kili.

"Tiri thinks you're really a dwarf under all that fur. What about this one?" she asked, looking back down at Kili. "Is he your friend? Brother? Lover, perhaps?" she suggested tentatively.

Fili made no kind of response to this. For one, he felt torn over the answer to that question, and underneath those broken feelings of love, anguish, and despair, there was also now a hot surge of jealousy at the hopeful note he heard in her voice. Before that surge could call to his baser instincts, though, she looked back to him.

"Don't fear, great white bear. Whoever this boy is to you, Tiri and I will help him. We'll see that he gets better."

_That's all I want._

"Nes!" the younger sister called as she came scurrying back with a large crock and a bulging leather satchel. "I've brought what you need. I also brought another of Mother's blankets."

"Good. Set up a place nearer to the fire. Put the crock in the fire, as well. We must keep it hot. I'll make some tea while you get that bedding set up. We're going to be here a while."

Hearing this, Fili decided he'd better make himself scarce. His brother needed the very best care that could be provided and the sun would be setting very soon. These two sisters absolutely could not see him after dark.

As he wandered back into the forest, far enough away to keep clear, but close enough to keep watch, he began to realize something. He was picking up on that scent again…that same intangible scent that always seemed to be on his brother. Only he hadn't smelt that scent at all while Kili had been sick…and it wasn't coming from Kili now. It was coming from the two sisters. What _was_ that scent?

Fili hardly noticed the cold on his skin when he transformed. Normally, he would snuggle up with Kili under their blanket, but of course the two girls couldn't see him and he didn't want to take any warmth away from Kili, so he was prepared to spend a night just like this, worrying over Kili and wondering just what that unidentifiable scent was.

"Aren't you cold?" a voice suddenly sounded off to his left. Shocked and horrified, Fili turned to see Tiri standing there with a blanket in her arms. His horror was lessened only slightly when he saw that she wore a blindfold around her eyes. He'd been so focused on Nes tending to Kili, he hadn't noticed her slip away.

"You…you…"

"Don't worry. I know I'm not supposed to see you…whatever spell you're under. I just thought you might like a blanket," she said, moving slowly toward him and draping the blanket around his shoulders, despite the fact that she couldn't see. Fili didn't say anything. It was getting harder and harder to remember how to speak, and he usually only taxed himself that much for Kili.

"I know you care for him…and that he cares for you…to undertake this journey with you. Nes will do what she can for him…and I'd like to try and help _you_…if you'd let me. I know…that you need a child."

So that was it. She wanted to lie with him. Well…that was something he could grant easily enough…and it would please Kili when he finally came around.

"It…isn't…just…a child," he said haltingly.

"I know that. My great grandmother was a witch, so I know these kinds of spells. Only the truth will break it…but if you won't tell him the truth, you may as well keep trying other ways."

"What…truth?" he ground out.

"There's only one truth, and you don't need me to tell you what it is."

"His…truth…is not…the same as…mine," he said, his voice bitter even in its uncertainty.

"You can't know that unless you ask him."

Maybe…maybe she was right? Maybe he _should_ go to Kili…tell him how he felt…like he was going to before. Maybe the love he'd dreamed of was closer than he'd imagined.

Only…nothing else had gone right thus far. Everything else had been ruined….everything but this. What if he was wrong? What if Kili's feelings toward him were only those of a brother…as they should be? Would Kili hate him…turn his back on him and leave him to his well-deserved punishment? Or would he break Kili's heart? Would he feel guilty and sad if he knew of his love…but was unable to return it?

"Would…rather…_die_…than hurt him," he growled.

"How do you know you're not hurting him now?"

Fili shook his head several times. Unable to properly voice his confusion, all he could do was give a small whine.

"You suffer…constantly…from the pain of wanting his love. What if he suffers as you suffer? Aching for your love everyday, but unable to tell you for fear his love is not returned. Would you wish such pain on him? Would you let it go on if it was in your power to stop it?"

Feeling confusion and despair overthrow his heart, Fili sank to the ground. Such a thought had never really occurred to him before. Was such a thing possible? That Kili's heart broke for him…just as his broke for Kili? But…if that was true…then the only way to ease that suffering…was by risking the other possibility: Kili's anger, or worse…his heartbreak.

"Do not…know," he ground out, burying his face in his hands. "Do not…_understand._"

"Well, white bear…you know how to end your curse. The decision is yours as to whether or not you will make that choice."

For a moment, she seemed like she was going to move back toward the cave, but then Fili reached out a hand to take hers, suddenly curious. Seeing that he was under a spell, that he could understand…but to know as much as she did…

"How…do you…know…?" he struggled to ask her. Without Kili, it was getting harder and harder to keep hold of the non-animal part of himself.

"How do I know so much about you? Well…in truth, I've dreamt of you and your brother for many months now. I dream true, the elders say…and I've dreamed of the two of you…never and always touching. I knew I was meant to help you…and for the longest time, I thought that meant I was to be the goal at the end of your long journey…that I would break your curse and bear your child. But looking at you now, I see that isn't so. You and I will find no love in each other. I'm meant to guide you…to light the path to that which you refuse to see. As I said, though, dear white bear…the choice of whether to walk the illuminated path is yours alone. I have given you what I can."

Again, she turned to leave, but Fili didn't let go of her hand.

"Wait…stay…"

He understood her words now…only he didn't feel at all ready to confront what they meant. So, for now, he would go about things the old way. He would have this girl…and when she did not fall pregnant…just like all of the others before her…he and Kili would leave. Maybe by then he would feel more ready to face what was between them.

"All right. If that's what you want…my poor, lost white bear," she said gently, her voice soothing as she settled her warm weight in his lap.

Fili was more passionate with Tiri than he'd been with any of the other lovers he'd taken, focusing his frustrations, his desires, and his new revelations on her. By no means did Tiri feel used, though. She used Fili as he used her. It was also one more thing she could do to help him see…make him realize…

Indeed, when Fili transformed again in the morning and smelled that same scent lingering on Tiri's naked, sleeping form, he finally began to understand. That scent he'd smelled on the two sisters…that he smelled on _Kili_…that scent was desire.

He'd never realized it before, never having been near any of his previous lovers in his bear form…and unable to conceive of Kili harboring such feelings for him. Though really, breathing in that heady scent from his brother almost constantly could mean only one thing.

XxX

Tiri was very well satisfied with her one night in Fili's arms, but the scent of desire did not leave the little campsite. Nes smelled heavily of lust, although she obviously felt guilty over her attraction to the stricken dwarf. When Kili's fever finally broke and he regained consciousness, she did everything but strip naked and throw herself at his feet. Kili politely turned her interest aside, though. The feeling wasn't mutual and, unlike his brother, he had no need to lie with dwarves he didn't want.

When Kili was finally well enough to travel, the brothers moved on, slipping quietly out of the twins' lives. Grateful though they were for their help, neither of them wanted to prolong this unusual encounter anymore than they needed to. Kili tried to insist they remain a while longer to see if Tiri was pregnant, but Fili refused. He knew she wasn't. None of them ever would be. He understood now…and he could not go back to a time when he didn't.

They were many miles away from the little village when they next spoke of Nes and Tiri. It was night again and they were curled up together beneath their blanket, as they had done every night before the illness. Kili lay wrapped up in Fili's arms, back pressed firmly against his chest, feeling the rise and fall of their shared breathing. Now that he had his strength back, the blindfold was back in place. He refused to risk accidentally looking upon his brother's face, even though he had so desperately missed the sight of the face he loved these three years. Sometimes he feared he was forgetting, but he _knew_ he couldn't allow himself to look. Otherwise he would lose Fili forever.

"You know," he began quietly, "if you think about it…they really should have been perfect for us. Two sisters…one for you and one for me…more importantly, one who could see what you are underneath. Why…why didn't we at least _try?_" he wondered, even though the question was half-hearted at best.

"Well," Fili began after several moments of silence, holding his brother a little tighter, "you _can't_…be with someone…if you're…in love with…someone else."

At this, Kili shifted in his arms, rolling to face him, even though he couldn't see him. "Fili? Do you mean you…feel something for one of them?"

"Isn't…quite what I meant," he said, reaching up a hand to stroke his baby brother's hair.

"What do you…mean, then?"

For several moments, Fili just stared at his brother, seeing how lovely he was in these last moments before the plunge, even though his features were tense. He heard the way Kili's breath shuddered on his lips. How long had it been since he'd been able to gaze into those lovely dark eyes without the hindrance of the white bear's poor vision? Would he ever see that beautiful face again?

"I mean…I've known…all along…who I love…more than…anything."

"Who?"

"_You,_ Kili."

Fili felt Kili tense in his arms at this. When he didn't say anything, Fili began to be afraid…then he realized there were tears flowing from beneath the blindfold, soaking the dark cloth.

"Kili! Kili, why…why are you crying?"

Kili shook his head. "Fili…don't play with me…don't play…"

"I'm _not._ Kili…that day…that day in the forest…on my birthday…when it…happened…I was going to tell you then."

"R-really?" Kili asked, turning his head up as if he could see.

"Yes," Fili said, feeling tears prick at his own eyes. "I've…loved you…for so many years…but…when you said you'd…help me find someone…thought it meant you…didn't want me."

The sound that escaped Kili's mouth was half-laugh, half-sob. "I want you. I knew…a long time ago…that if you didn't want me, I would have no other. I want no one to touch me but you, Brother."

"That's…all I've ever wanted," Fili whispered, pulling Kili closer and pressing his lips against his in a heated, hungry kiss…a kiss they'd both longed for for years. They sank into the embrace without thought and without regret, clutching each other as tightly as they possibly could. All through the night, they kissed, touched, and stroked each other, each making the other come undone with the touch of their hands alone. So caught up in each other were they that by the time the sun began to rise, they hadn't even properly had the chance to know one another.

"Sunrise?" Kili whispered regretfully when he felt Fili begin to shudder against him.

"Yes…don't worry…my love. We have…all the nights to come," he said, kissing his brother's temple.

A hopeful smile lit Kili's face at this. "Do you think I might be able to…have your child?"

"I know it," Fili said, his voice certain in his mouth. "We won't stop until it happens."

"I love you, Fili," Kili said firmly, leaning up to kiss his brother one more time.

"And I love you, my Kili," he said as he felt the fur begin to ripple across his skin. The next sound from his mouth was a low bear whine.

Once the transformation was complete, Kili removed his blindfold, smiling up at his brother's large, furry bear features. Laughing quietly, he leaned forward to rest his forehead against Fili's, kissing his large black nose. Chuffing several times, Fili stretched out his long, rough tongue to lick Kili's face. The younger dwarf laughed out loud at this, tumbling backward.

"Hey! Leave off! No biting!"

Both bear and dwarf chuckled helplessly for several minutes before curling back up together, Kili cuddled safely in the large warm nest created by Fili's massive body. Together they nestled down to catch up on the sleep they'd missed out on the night before, both secretly hoping to take the shorter route to the next night.

XxX


	2. Part Two

**Ere the Sun Rises**

_**Part**_** _Two_  
**

Kili woke from his sleep to find himself wrapped in their blanket instead of curled up against his brother's warm fur. It was very late in the afternoon and when he sat up and saw no sign of Fili, he started to worry. Did Fili regret what had happened? Had he left him?

No! What was he thinking? Fili would never abandon him. Only…where was he? Kili had had about ten minutes to worry when he finally heard the soft pad of his brother's paws against the snow. He already had a fire built by the time Fili dragged what remained of an elk carcass into their little clearing. Fili had already eaten his fill, but he nudged the meat in Kili's direction, as if to ask, 'Hungry?'

Kili laughed out loud, coming to his brother and scratching the fur behind his ears. "Thank you," he said, kissing his nose before moving to make himself some dinner.

The silence between them was comfortable as Kili ate his meal, occasionally tossing his brother chunks of cooked meat, but as the sun sank lower and lower, they both began to get more and more anxious. When would it happen? When could they be together again?

Kili could tell they were both on pins and needles when the nightly transformation didn't happen immediately. Fili was growling low in his throat as the light faded, pacing anxiously about the space while Kili sat before the dying fire, rocking anxiously back and forth. Why wasn't anything happening? The transformation should have happened already. That was when he remembered.

"The blindfold!" he cried out as he leapt to his feet. He'd been so eager to have this night, so desperate to finally be with Fili, he'd forgotten about the small strip of cloth that protected them both. Perhaps some secret, rebellious part of his heart had hoped for a glimpse of the face he missed so much. Before he could make it back to his pack, though, a loud, threatening growl from his brother stopped him.

Slowly, Kili turned to look at Fili. His brother was facing him, body crouched as if ready to spring and teeth bared menacingly. More unnerving than all of this, though, were his eyes. Kili could normally see his brother in his eyes. He didn't know how, but he could still see the dwarf he knew and loved in the eyes of the white bear. He couldn't see that now. Fili was gone. A bear was staring at him...and if that bear hadn't just eaten, Kili felt almost certain he would be dead already.

"Fili?" he called softly, uncertain. This had only ever happened once before…back when Fili had first turned…and he had been able to call him back then. Could he do it again?

The bear stalked toward him slowly, still growling low, and Kili didn't move…didn't _dare_ to. One wrong move could be the end of everything. When the bear reached him, though, it didn't attack. Instead, it bent its massive head low against his body, nuzzling against him…right up against his groin.

Kili was almost shocked to acknowledge hot threads of pleasure shooting through his body at the contact…shocked and a little ashamed. Should he enjoy a touch like that so much…if it was a _bear_ giving it to him? It wasn't just the touch, though…he knew that in his heart. It was because he _knew_ this was Fili…in spite of _everything_…after so many years, he knew his brother wanted him just as badly as _he_ wanted _him_…and it was that knowledge, he knew, that aroused him. He didn't have much time to think on any of this, though, as the bear continued to nuzzle him, rubbing its nose against his body, drawing several tiny gasps and cries from him. Unthinkingly, Kili began to rut gently against the point of pressure…and even though he didn't realize it, the bear was pushing him across the campsite…toward their bedding.

Kili had lost awareness of most everything else in his body's sudden jump to full arousal. He didn't become coherent again until the bear pushed a little harder, sending him tumbling back onto the fur blankets.

"Fili…Fili…" he cried out, reaching hands down to undo his belt and expose himself. Despite the cold air, he was fully hard, raw and red with desire. Neither of them could hold back anymore.

Nodding several times in approval, the bear bent its head over his body, sniffing at his arousal. Kili began to writhe just from the feel of the bear's warm breath against his cock. Then it stretched out its tongue to lick the hot length of flesh and Kili actually screamed, bucking up against the bear's mouth. Never had he felt a sensation so intense, not once in all his life.

The bear was gentle in its movements, despite Kili's writhing, making certain not to harm the tender flesh with its lethal teeth, only caressing every inch of it with its tongue. As Kili moved beneath the bear, the young dwarf haphazardly began to remove his clothing, stripping out of his layers of coats and tunics, until his chest was finally laid bare. Smelling the new flesh, the bear quickly moved up his body, tongue licking hot rough circles along his stomach muscles…then up to his nipples and neck. Again, Kili nearly screamed in pleasure. He couldn't care if this was right or wrong anymore. He wanted this too much…_needed_ it too much. It felt _so good._

When the bear moved its mouth back down to his cock, Kili reached up, grabbing handfuls of the bear's luscious fur in tight fists as it continued to go down on him. At this rate, he knew he couldn't possibly last much longer…and was proven right when he came violently into the bear's mouth, screaming his brother's name.

For several moments, he just lay there, panting, feeling the warm fur above and below him and the utter bliss that racked his body. He felt as if he'd melted and then somehow reformed. It took him a long while to realize that the bear was still crouching over him. Briefly, he caught a glimpse of the bear's own arousal…and suddenly began to feel nervous. Did…did Fili mean to just _take_ him…like this? Even in his haze of lust, he knew his body couldn't take that. It would break him.

"Fili?" he whispered nervously, looking into the bear's eyes…and finally, those black eyes flickered and he could see his brother within them once more. Fili shook his head, whining as the transformation finally started to happen. Suddenly fearful, Kili clamped his eyes shut.

The younger dwarf breathed a sigh of relief when his brother was sitting atop him, his naked flesh pressed against his own. The only barriers that remained between them were Kili's trousers and long johns, pushed down only past his thighs.

"Kili! Kili, are you all right?!" his brother demanded frantically, leaning down over him. For a moment, he wished he would open his eyes, even though he knew he couldn't.

"I…I'm fine. It's all right," he said softly, digging his fingers into the solid muscles of his brother's legs.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. The transformation wasn't happening and I just…I _lost _myself. I didn't hurt you?"

"No…it…it was _very_…pleasant," he said, feeling his face flush, knowing that word fell far short of what he'd truly experienced beneath his brother, but speaking didn't really seem to be his strong suit at the moment.

"Are you…sure you're okay?"

Kili nodded, still keeping his eyes shut. He was _more_ than okay. In fact, with his brother sitting on top of him the way he was, he was already starting to feel hot again. Only…there was one thing he needed before they could continue.

"I…I want you, Fili. I'm ready. I want you to take me proper…but I need the blindfold first."

Kili literally felt Fili sag over him. "Do…do we _have_ to? I _hate_ that damn blindfold. Kili, I…I want to see your face…as much as I possibly can," he said, reaching a hand down to stroke his brother's cheek. Kili shook his head, feeling sadness well up in his heart.

"You _know_ why we can't do that. I _won't _lose you so soon after finding you. I want…to see your face, too, Nadadel. It's been so long…since I've seen those lovely eyes…but I _can't_…and I don't trust myself…not to give into temptation, or lose control in a moment of weakness. Maybe we'll be able to do it without the blindfold…someday…but right now…I need it. Please."

Smiling sadly down at his brother, Fili finally sighed and reached toward his pack, drawing out the length of black cloth and tying it securely around Kili's eyes. The younger dwarf didn't relax until the knot was secured.

"Thank you, Fili," he said, drawing several shaky breaths. For several moments, Fili just watched him breathe, taking in the beauty of him beneath him before leaning over him, his lips hovering mere inches from his brother's.

"Despite your lack of confidence in yourself…I want you to know that I trust you. I have faith that you will uphold our grandfather's terms…even unto your dying breath. My faith is with you, Kili. It always has been and always shall be."

Kili drew a shuddering breath at these words, his body trembling with desire at having his brother so close to him. He was ready…ready to be filled…to be taken…to feel their bodies connect as he had dreamed of for so long. He was ready to fulfill the ancient covenant of their bloodline…to receive Fili's desire and to nurture it inside his own body until the seeds they planted together bore fruit. He was ready to love Fili…and to follow him into the unknown.

"Fili…I'm ready. I'm ready to be yours. _Take me,_" he hissed harshly against his lover's ear, grinding up against the groin that pressed lightly against his. Fili gasped at the contact, feeling heat surge through his body, the lust of both the bear and the dwarf in him snarling for release. He barely had enough presence of mind to reach back into Kili's pack for the vial of oil he used to treat his weapons. Preparation was sloppy at best, but neither cared. Kili underwent a cursory stretching at his brother's hands and before too long, he was naked, splayed out on their fur bedding with Fili buried deep in his body.

Kili groaned in pleasure as Fili moved in him, clumsily moving his hips up to meet his brother's. He had nowhere near spent the desire he'd carried with him for so many years. If anything, Fili's actions as a bear had spurred his desire to even greater heights. It didn't take much for Fili to get him hard again.

"Hnngh…mm…_Nadad_…" Fili moaned, enveloped in the tight heat of his little brother's body. No lover before had ever felt like this. Maybe…maybe he really _could_ reach his true full with Kili?

"Fili…Fili…" the younger cried out softly. Lacking the ability of sight, he could only _feel_ what Fili was doing to his body, and the sensation was heightened that much more by it. He could feel every point of contact between his skin and Fili's, could feel the delicate sheen of sweat that clung to his body, along with the cold night air and the warm fur that embraced his body from beneath. He could feel Fili's hands…at his shoulders…at his hips…that warm, tight, wet place where their bodies joined. He could feel each movement as his brother's hot, hard length slid in and out of him…felt each thrust and a dull burn as virgin muscles were plied open with pleasure. He felt Fili's lips on his, warm and full and sweet…everything he'd ever dreamed of…and he felt the gentle whisper of air as Fili breathed his name against his skin.

"Kili…Brother…lover…my life…I love you…love you so."

"Say…say my name," he pleaded in between each panted breath. "Call my name once more. Say…my name…"

"Kili…Kili…Kili…_Kili!_" he cried over and over again, until the syllables of his name blended together in one long cry of passion. As Fili moved in his brother, he felt himself reborn…as if something were finally coming together…becoming _right_ after a lifetime of being so horribly wrong. The universe seemed to fall into place as he made love to Kili. It was with that blissful cry on his lips that he finally came, spilling deep inside his brother, their bond at last complete. His orgasm was so intense, he almost didn't feel the pulse of Kili's own release against his belly. All he was aware of was the harmony of Kili's cry with his…and that they were soon lying tangled up in each other, their furs sticky with the fruits of their tryst.

As they slowly fell back to their separate selves from the height of their coupling, Fili pressed several gentle kisses to Kili's strong jaw, reveling in the feel of his baby brother's rough stubble against his lips. He wasn't able to move much more than that and Kili didn't seem able to move at all. He just lay in his brother's arms, limbs turned to jelly.

"Fili?" he finally murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Do you…really think I could get pregnant?" he asked, his voice shaky with pale hope. His body was still trembling with the force of the orgasm.

"You _must,_" he said quietly, soothingly. "If I choose someone in love…that someone will bear my child. This _must_ be so. I _felt_ it. When we were together, I felt _us_. The ancient magic is true. It still lives. There _will_ be a child…_our_ child, Kili. I _know_ it."

Neither spoke after this. They were both so overcome by the emotion of the moment, they devolved into silent tears, sharing gentle kisses and caresses until they at last fell asleep in each other's arms…a more peaceful sleep than either brother had known for a long time.

XxX

_It started slowly…little things. The younger prince rose later in the mornings and his moods would shift quite suddenly. He would sleep more, taking little naps throughout the day. He ate more; he didn't at first notice this, but his brother did, being the one to bring in the extra meat. It was nearly two months after their first night together that the younger prince began throwing up in the mornings. His brother feared he was ill again, but the young prince new the signs. He had asked their papa about his own pregnancies many times. He suspected, hoped, __**prayed**__…and when at last his flat belly began to swell, he knew for certain. He was carrying his brother's child._

_ The older prince tried to convince him to return home in order to deliver their child in safety, but the young dwarf was having none of that. He was, after all, still not quite willing to let go of his anger at their parents. Besides, his brother's argument seemed to be forgotten almost every night when they curled up together, hands intertwined over the growing swell of his stomach. They would often spend their nights trying to come up with names for the baby. The younger prince was nearing the sixth month of his pregnancy when he felt the first real stirrings of the new life in his body._

XxX

Fili was trundling along with Kili on his back when it happened. While Kili still refused to return home, Fili did insist on aiming their wanderings in a more southerly direction, in case he should come to his senses. He was moving along at a nice, easy pace when he suddenly felt Kili's fingers dig into the thick fur at his neck.

"Fili, stop," he ordered.

Fili did so, immediately looking back over his shoulder, as if to ask what was wrong. Kili's face was lit with wonder as he met his gaze.

"Fili, he…he _kicked_," Kili said, an amazed smile spreading across his face as his hands traveled from Fili's neck up to his belly. "I…I felt him move."

The singular focus that Fili typically moved with during the day quickly shifted to joy. He quickly knelt down, allowing Kili to slide off his back and come around to face him. Most people would find the sight of a dwarf grabbing a gigantic white bear's ears and pulling his head against his stomach to be strange and probably suicidal on the dwarf's part, but that was exactly what Kili did. He pulled Fili's massive head close against his body, allowing him to feel the tiny kicks. Fili's heart beat a little faster at the sensation and he desperately wished that he could weep in this moment…weep for the joy of it. Their baby…their little child…_kicking_. All he could do to show Kili how happy he was was rub his head gently against his belly and low quietly, sending the vibrations of his great bear voice through his brother's much smaller frame. Kili shuddered in pleasure at the sensation, laughing quietly as he bent down to kiss his nose.

"Your son, Fili…your son…_ours,_" he said quietly, his eyes bright with joy.

_Yours and mine…he's going to be beautiful._

Unfortunately, the moment they were wrapped up in such joy was also the moment Fili smelled danger…another white bear. Immediately, he bared his teeth and began to growl, turning in the direction the scent was coming from and keeping his large body between Kili and harm.

"What's wrong? What is it?" Kili asked, concern filling his voice as he followed Fili's gaze, one hand moving protectively to his belly and the other tangling in his brother's fur for comfort.

There was nothing yet in sight across the snowy field, but Fili _knew_ there was another white bear, and undoubtedly that bear had a scent on him, too…and a scent on Kili. Their situation would mean nothing to this animal. All it would understand was that another bear had prey with it…pregnant, helpless prey. This bear would overtake them before too long, as it would be unhindered and Fili would be carrying Kili. He didn't necessarily _need_ to outrun it, though. All he really needed was to reach the forest that he knew lay just over the next two rises. So he knelt once more, urging Kili to climb back onto his back. He couldn't explain any of this to him, of course. He could only hope his brother understood his urgency.

He seemed to. Kili said nothing, simply climbed back onto his back and held on tight as Fili broke into a run, trusting in him to protect him.

Kili had to cling for dear life as Fili ran full tilt for the forest, but he occasionally managed to glance back, and when Fili crested the last rise, he caught a glimpse of what pursued them. Another white bear was barreling down the previous rise. The sight was so fearsome, the young prince couldn't tear his gaze away and hardly noticed they'd entered the forest. He didn't become aware again until he heard Fili snarling at him. He looked forward to see Fili banging his head incessantly against a large tree.

_Climb. Get away._

"What about you?" Kili asked.

Fili's low whine seemed to suggest that he didn't have time to deal with this foolishness and he only bashed his head against the bark harder.

_Please. Please!_ _He'll be here soon!_

Kili slipped down from his brother's back, but he didn't climb. Instead, he went for his bow and arrows. Exasperated, Fili roared at him…but nothing ever came of it, for that was the moment the other bear slammed into Fili's side, ramming him into the tree. Then it turned its attention to Kili, who took several steps back as the bear advanced on him, growling low. Before too long, Kili found himself backed up against another tree, nowhere else to run to.

"Fili…Fili…please get up," he begged, not daring to tear his eyes away from his imminent death. The white bear roared, swiping a deadly paw across his chest and gouging out five furrows of bloody red.

It was Kili's cry of pain that woke Fili from his daze. When he saw the white bear about to close its killing jaws around his brother's throat, he immediately burst forward and rammed the other bear away. Despite his new injuries, Kili immediately climbed the tree, scrambling up as high as he could without fear of the branches breaking.

Fili and the other bear circled each other, snarling and baring their teeth at each other. Then they lunged, snapping, biting, tearing, delivering what would have been devastating blows to any dwarf. Kili tried to aim his bow, but he could no longer tell which was which without looking into their eyes.

"Fili, please…please be all right," he prayed, clinging to his branch, fighting his way through the pain of his wound.

For several minutes, the fight raged fiercely, but one bear did ultimately triumph, sending the other limping away whimpering. The victor looked up at Kili with the black animal eyes that terrified him. Surely…surely Fili wouldn't just walk away if defeated? Only…what if he _had?_ What f he'd been lost again? He would just decide the fight wasn't worth it and walk away, forgetting all about who he was…all about Kili and the baby. Which bear was this?

"Fili?" he called softly, anxiously, unable to help hissing in pain. "Fili…please…"

Once again, his sound of pain called to his brother and the bear blinked several times and the dwarf returned to the black gaze. He shook his head, whining anxiously as he rubbed his head against the tree.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kili began to carefully make his way out of the tree. When he was finally on solid ground again, he leaned heavily against his brother's large body.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

Fili chuffed in what might have been annoyance or outright anger. Unable to properly express either, though, he just knelt, offering to carry Kili to a place they could rest, and though he tried, the younger dwarf just couldn't manage to climb anymore. He wasn't even sure how he'd got down from the tree, what with fire shooting through his chest every time he moved. Instead, he leaned against Fili and the two of them walked until they found a decent thicket of young trees to set up their bedding in.

By then it was nearly dark, so once Kili had gotten their little camp set up, he crawled into the relative safety of the thicket, carefully stripping out of his upper layers of clothing and tying the blindfold around his eyes. He heard the transformation happen, then heard Fili busying himself about the fire. Before too long, he could smell smoked rabbit warming over the flames. Then he felt Fili crawl into the thicket with him.

"Lie down," his brother ordered tersely. Kili did so and soon felt the sting of his wounds being cleaned.

"They're not too deep…these gouges," Fili explained as he wrapped the injuries in clean bandages. "Should heal fine. We'll just…keep them clean."

On the last word, Fili's voice seemed to pitch a little higher. Turning his head sharply up to his brother, Kili searched for him with blind fingers. When his fingertips finally brushed against Fili's cheeks, he felt wetness there.

"Fili…Fili, why are you crying?"

"Because I'm…angry with you…so…_angry_," he snarled quietly, his own voice beginning to fade away beneath his pain and anger.

"Fili, please, I…I didn't-"

"Could have _died!_" he shouted at him, shoving his hands away. "You could've died! You and the…the baby…"

"I'm sorry…Sannadad…I'm _so sorry,_" he whispered, his voice thick with pain and regret. "I just…I wasn't thinking."

"Kili…can't we just go home? It…it isn't…_safe_…out here. I want you to be safe…_both_ of you. If anything…happened to you…I wouldn't survive," he said, taking Kili's hand in his and pressing his lips to the palm, offering gentle worship to the center of his existence.

"Oh, Fili…Fili…" the younger prince lamented for several moments, pulling his brother into his arms. For a long while, the two brothers just held each other, touching, kissing, and crying…confirming that the other one still existed through touch.

They held to each other like that until whatever Fili had going over the fire began to bubble and spit. Fili quickly crawled back out of the thicket and before long, Kili felt a warm bowl placed in his hands. He heard the slosh of liquid and smelled the hardy scent of broth from the dish.

"How did you…make broth?" he asked faintly, inhaling the delicious aroma with a tiny shudder of pleasure.

"Threw together those…those spices you had…from the last village. It's…not much…but I know you like…to have soup…when you're sick."

Kili laughed quietly at this, feeling several more tears squeeze their way from his eyes.

"Careful. Soup doesn't…need more salt," Fili teased, gently wiping the tears away.

Kili sniffled, nodding as he smiled at his brother. "You're right. Fili…thank you for this…thank you."

Rather than waste more words, Fili leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Eat."

Kili did so, though it was a bit of a chore with the blindfold on. Ultimately, Fili had to take over, spoon-feeding him the remainder of the rabbit broth. Once they'd both eaten and the fire had burned low, they curled up together, Fili cradling Kili close, his hands intertwined with his brother's over the swell of his growing belly.

"Fili?" he called quietly, just as the blond was finally drifting off.

"Mm?"

"I…I've been thinking…about Father and Papa…about what I said to them…that day. Since…since we'll be parents ourselves in only a few months…it's made me think of what we would do to keep this child safe. Well…we would do whatever we had to, and they…maybe it seemed to them they were doing what was best…and I can't fault them for that…for trying to protect you from the truth," Kili said haltingly.

"So…what are you saying?" Fili asked, feeling his grip on his little brother tighten just a little more.

"I think…I'm ready to go back. I don't want Thrain to keep us apart anymore…and I want our son to be born in a proper bed…safe…protected…just like you said."

For several moments, Fili was silent, and just when Kili was starting to be afraid, he felt his brother's lips press against the back of his neck, laying several kisses to the sensitive flesh.

"Thank you. Thank you," he whispered against his neck. "I was only an inch away from just taking you back myself, whether you liked it or not. I'm so glad. We'll leave in the morning. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get back. Kili…thank you."

"Well, this is _your_ son, too," he said, laughing gently as Fili cradled him close once more. He had known his brother would be overjoyed that he was finally willing to return to the land where they'd been born. What he hadn't anticipated was his own feeling of relief. The knowledge that the baby would be born in as much safety as they could possibly offer, surrounded by people who loved him. The curse wasn't broken just yet, but they were well on their way.

Yes…it was time to go home.

XxX

Kili had to admit he enjoyed seeing the expressions on people's faces as he came riding into the capitol astride the back of a great white bear. They knew who they were, of course, but no one had seen them leave three years ago, so he knew he and Fili were quite a sight to behold.

He could practically see the whispers traveling ahead of them, through the streets, all the way up to the castle, so that by the time Fili padded up to the main gate, their father was already out front, waiting for them.

So far as Kili knew, Thorin Oakenshield had never wept in his life, but he now looked like he might, eyes bright and bloodshot with the effort of _not_ weeping.

Kili laughed, feeling moisture in his own eyes as he half-tumbled off of Fili's back and into his father's arms.

"My boys…my boys…where have you been, my sons?" Thorin murmured in his ear as he held him close.

"Father…Father…" he whispered over and over again, not realizing how much he'd missed him until this moment.

After their father had embraced them both thoroughly, he stood back to have a look at Fili, one hand resting on Kili's shoulder.

"What has happened to the two of you? Why have you returned? Did…did you find no way to break the curse?" he asked, sounding worried.

"No…we have found the way," Kili began slowly. This was the part that he feared. Even though they both knew their bond was sealed and could not be broken (Kili's pregnancy being the indisputable proof of that), they still feared their parents' disapproval. Nothing would ever divide them; they knew that. They would choose each other over their parents if they needed to…but that didn't mean they wanted to.

"Well?"

Taking his father's hand, Kili slowly guided it to his belly, moving it in gentle circles along the swell that was only just visible beneath his clothing.

"It's me. _I_ am the one. I am carrying my brother's child. The…the baby will be born in the spring."

Instead of the disgust and anger the two young princes had half-expected to see, Thorin offered his sons an exasperated smile.

"So it's finally happened. Your papa and I were wondering when the two of you would come to your senses."

Kili couldn't stop his jaw from dropping open at this. "You…you _knew?_"

"Of course we knew. Did you really think we didn't see the way the two of you looked at each other?"

Fili gave several low growls in what Kili clearly recognized as annoyance, while he gathered the scattered pieces of his composure.

"So you…just let us wander off into the Wild, completely heartbroken…when you knew that we had the secret to breaking the spell all along?" he clarified, not quite sure how he felt about that.

"We couldn't just _tell_ you the two of you were in love; no one can tell you that. It was something you both had to come to on your own. It wouldn't have worked any other way."

"Father?" Kili started, looking around and finally realizing what was missing. "Where's Papa?"

Thorin's face went hard and cold at this. "I…I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…that your papa's gone missing. He's been gone nearly three weeks now. There's no sign of what might have happened to him. We've searched high and low."

"Oh…oh, Mahal," Kili whispered in shock.

"The only clue I have…is that the night he vanished, he said he must do something to try and help the two of you. Though how he knew you would soon be returning to us, I will never know."

"Is…is there nothing we can do?"

"If there was, it would have been done already. It seems to me, though…that my hobbit knows what he's doing…and that we will see him again when the time is right. For now, come inside and rest, eat. Surely you must be tired and hungry from your long journey."

Neither prince made any sound as they followed their father back into the home where they'd grown up. They were glad to be home, but also saddened by what they'd come home to. It seemed that their family was breaking…and it was all because of them.

XxX

_What the two princes could not have possibly known was that their father knew exactly where his husband was. He was standing beside them, ready to protect them when the need arose. The magic of the halflings the king consort had alluded to so long ago was actually quite formidable when used correctly._

_ The hobbit folk could pass completely unseen if they so chose, and it was an ability they kept closely guarded. The dwarf king was the first outsider in many centuries to know of it. The two monarchs had planned everything very carefully, for neither truly trusted the former king to keep his word where their sons were concerned. He would try to fore their hand, do everything in his power to see they did not succeed in breaking the curse, no matter how faithful they were to each other. Therefore, they could not allow him to hold all the cards. The king consort would work from the shadows, aiding their fight in secret…and his help would be needed in a way none of them could have foreseen._

XxX

Their son came late, nearly a month late on a stormy day late in April. Despite the foul weather, Kili could not have been happier. It had been a struggle, but their little boy had come into the world smoothly, and he was perfectly healthy…an absolutely perfect little princeling.

Fili remained by Kili's side every moment, even though several of the physicians were still leery of the large white bear, even after all the months the two princes had been home.

As exhausted as he was after the birth, Kili absolutely insisted on holding his son and feeding him his first meal. Fili watched the two of them intently, his great head resting on the bed beside Kili as he breathed in the sweet baby scent.

"He's so beautiful," Kili praised in the time-honored fashion of new mothers everywhere. "Our Duri. I can't wait for you to hold him," he said, tearing his gaze away from Duri to offer his brother a warm smile. Fili lowed quietly as he rubbed his head against the bed.

_Only three more years._

When he heard Duri burble against him, Kili remembered and glanced out the window. It was difficult to tell with the storm raging, but he had developed a very acute sense of night and day, and it would be night before too long; he wouldn't risk being caught at sunset. So, pressing a kiss to his son's tiny head, he laid Duri gently in his lap and reached for the familiar strip of black cloth. Securing the blindfold around his eyes, he then picked the baby back up, cradling him close.

The new mother knew it the moment the transformation began. He could actually feel the difference in the air beside him when a dwarf rather than a white bear stood next to him. He heard his brother gasp in wonder when his own eyes took over from the bear's poor ones.

"Oh…Kili…" he breathed.

"I know."

Faintly, Kili heard his brother pull a robe over his naked body before coming to join him in the bed.

"Heh, the little one's fallen asleep already," Fili said softly. Kili felt him reach a hand out to touch the baby's cheek.

"Would…would you like to hold your son?" Kili asked, suddenly feeling inexplicably nervous.

"Yes," Fili said, a trace of nerves in his own voice. Being very careful, he reached over and lifted Duri from Kili's arms, cradling the baby boy gently in his own. Kili smiled when he heard their son burble sweetly in his sleep.

"He…he's really ours…" Fili said quietly, not wanting to wake him. Kili's smile only grew wider as he rested his head on his brother's shoulder.

"Yes…ours…yours and mine."

"Mahal praise," the older prince exulted, leaning forward to press a kiss to their son's forehead. Then he turned his head and pressed another kiss to the top of Kili's head.

"I love you," he whispered against his hair.

"And I love you," he returned, turning to kiss his shoulder, "so much."

Honestly, they both could have gone on just looking at their child forever, but Fili did ultimately make the decision that Kili needed to rest, and so carried Duri to the cradle that stood at the foot of their bed, laying him down to sleep. Then he crawled back into bed with Kili and curled up with him to sleep, finally feeling some small measure of peace.

This night, however, was to be the end of their tenuous peace.

The two brothers were sound asleep when another presence entered their chamber. Bilbo moved silently across the floor, unseen, toward his grandson's cradle. Duri really was a very lovely child and it made Bilbo happy to see the joy he brought his two sons, but when he felt yet another presence moving toward the chamber, he was saddened to realize that joy was already coming to an end. Acting quickly, the king consort reached into the cradle and lifted the baby prince out. Briefly, little Duri cried out, alerting his parents, but by the time they'd shot up from their bed, their son had already vanished beneath their papa's shield of invisibility.

"Duri?" Fili call out.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Kili asked, fumbling blindly about. For a moment, he had to resist the urge to tear the blindfold off.

"Nothing at all, my dear grandsons. I've simply come to have a look at my new great grandson," a painfully familiar voice sounded as its owner appeared beside Duri's cradle.

"Thrain," Fili snarled, moving into a crouch on the bed, teeth bared. The old dwarf just laughed at him.

"Look at you, poor thing. You're more beast than dwarf now. What do you suppose will happen on the day you lose to the beast? Though…even after all that…I suppose you are still beautiful."

Fili might have taken the time to be shocked or worried by his grandfather's words…were it not for the fact that the old dwarf was hovering over his son.

"Get away from him!" Fili growled.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah. Can't have you getting too complacent," the former king chastised, beginning to reach into the cradle.

"I will rip your _throat_ out if you touch him!"

Thrain was about to respond to this when an odd look passed over his face and he withdrew his hand.

"It seems there is no need of promises. Where is the child? Where have you hidden it?" he demanded.

"W-what are you talking about?"

"Duri!" Kili shouted in a panic, throwing himself to the end of the bed and fumbling around in the cradle, only to find it empty. "Fili, he's gone! Duri! _Duri!_"

Turning his attention from his distraught brother back to their enemy, the blond dwarf growled low in his throat.

"What have you done?"

Thrain glared at him for several moments before answering, "I will gladly take credit when it's due, but in this case, I had nothing to do with it. I never touched the child. It was you yourselves who lost your son."

"What did you do with my baby?!" Kili demanded.

Thrain shook his head, his lips twisting into a mocking sneer he knew Kili couldn't see. "Well, whatever you've done, I will quickly discover the truth of all this," he said, turning to leave.

"_Give him back!_" Kili screamed, throwing himself in the direction of Thrain's voice…but Thrain vanished in that very moment and Fili caught him before he could fall from the bed.

"Let me go! _Let me __**go!**_" he shouted at his brother, struggling to get free, but Fili held him tightly, the strength of the bear like iron in his arms.

"He's gone. He's gone, Kili. There's nothing we can do."

Finally surrendering to his brother's grasp, Kili clung to him as he wept in despair.

"Oh…oh, Mahal…Fili! Our son…our little boy! What will we do? What will we _do?!_" he sobbed as Fili held him.

"I don't know. I don't _know,_" he whispered, running his fingers through Kili's hair, trying to soothe him and knowing he was failing.

"We…we didn't even…have a whole _day_ with him. Why? Why our baby?"

Fili was struggling for an answer when the two brothers suddenly heard sounds from outside their chamber. For a moment, Fili continued to crouch where he was, holding Kili, torn between the fact that he needed to conceal himself and that Kili still needed him, but Kili shook his head, pushing feebly at him.

"Go…go…I won't lose…_both_ of you."

"I'll be right back," Fili promised, pressing a loving kiss to Kili's lips before springing up from their bed and ducking behind a curtain that had been set up for this purpose.

"Fili?" Thorin's voice sounded at the door. "Are you concealed?"

"Yes, Father."

"What happened?" the king asked as he and two guards entered the room. "The guards heard a commotion."

"He…took Duri," Kili cried, not even bothering to conceal his pain. For a moment, Thorin was stricken by the sight of his son, looking so small and helpless, blindfolded and huddled in a sea of rumpled sheets.

"Thrain?" Thorin asked, coming to his son and placing his hands on his shoulders.

"He was here," Fili's voice sounded from behind the curtain. "It was his intention to take Duri…but the baby was already gone by the time he reached for the cradle. I thought I heard him…cry out…just before Thrain appeared."

Glancing around, Thorin found the answer to his curiosity standing by the curtain that concealed their oldest son. Bilbo stood with the babe in his arms, invisible to all but him. Thorin shifted his gaze between his husband and their son, plainly asking why.

"This is the only way to keep the child safe," Bilbo answered, his voice only for Thorin. "If I reveal him now, I won't be able to protect him anymore. Thrain will return…and take him away, and I shudder to think what he might be planning for their son."

Sighing, Thorin embraced his bereft child. He couldn't deny that Bilbo was right.

"Don't fear," he said quietly. "I believe…that wherever your son is…he is safe."

"How can you know that?" Kili asked, his voice harsh and bitter as he wept.

"Well…say whoever did this did so to protect Duri from Thrain. It would stand to reason they wanted the boy kept safe. Perhaps…perhaps we will see him again when this is all over?"

Slowly, Kili nodded, even though tears still streamed down his face. It could just as easily be that someone else had gotten to Duri before Thrain…someone worse…but it was better to believe their son was still alive…better to believe they might see him again someday…better than to give in to despair.

"Yes, that…that's all it is," he sniffled. "Duri will be fine. Someday…someday…"

"Father, would…would you leave? I want to be with my brother," Fili said, his own voice heavy with sorrow.

"Yes…of course. We'll leave you alone," he said, casting one last look at Bilbo before leading the guards from the room.

Once the door had closed, Fili came quietly from behind the curtain, moving back onto the bed with Kili and pulling him into his arms, pressing tender kisses to his face as they cried together.

"We…we'll search for him. We'll do everything we can. We _will_ get Duri back."

Kili didn't say anything. He just let Fili hold him and comfort him, and for a long while, their papa watched over them as best he could.

"I'm sorry," Bilbo said as he cuddled the fussy dwarfling. "You've both suffered enough…and I don't want to bring this on you…these final three years of suffering and despair…but this is the only way."

Neither of his sons could hear him, though, and for several hours they just wept and held each other. It was a long while before they fell asleep, exhausted with their grief.

XxX

_In the following months, the two princes searched for their lost son, but could find no trace of him. Their parents were saddened by their suffering, but knew that it was better that the baby prince stay safe._

_ As the baby grew, the king consort made certain he saw as much of his parents as was possible, made sure he knew they loved him. Sometimes the younger prince could have sworn he'd heard the sound of a child's laughter down the hallway or felt a sticky kiss pressed to his cheek, but he always managed to convince himself it was only his imagination. The older prince sometimes thought he could hear tiny feet padding on the floor beside him or feel a tiny hand curled in his thick fur. Sometimes he could almost swear he could smell his son, the scent of the baby burned into his brain after that one night. Other times he thought he could actually see the boy, but always told himself it was his poor eyes. The two princes were haunted by visions of their child, never knowing he stood right beside them._

_ The king consort kept his grandson as close with his parents as possible, even though he couldn't show the boy his father's true form. There was one night, though, that the two had to leave the princes' chambers earlier than usual._

XxX

Kili sometimes thought that Fili's bear senses were rubbing off on him, because right now he could almost swear he could smell his brother. It wasn't the heavy, earthy, animal smell, but something that was all Fili…musky and heady and wanting…a scent that took him back to happier times.

Kili was sprawled out on their bed and Fili had his head resting beside him. Kili had been in council with Thorin and his advisors all day. Just because Fili was under a spell and their lives were in pieces didn't mean the day-to-day workings of running the kingdom could stop. The two brothers had to be prepared for the day they would take over from Thorin and Kili did his best to speak for Fili, but it was a daunting task and Kili didn't want to think about the long day anymore. The young prince was vaguely considering sleeping in his clothes when he started to notice the scent. Then he felt Fili begin to nose his hip.

Reaching down, he began to stroke his brother's great head, smiling faintly. Fili chuffed in approval. Kili didn't smile all that much these days.

"Are you tired, too?" he asked, even though the scent filling his nose was quickly pushing aside thoughts of sleep, and that was also clearly the furthest thing from Fili's mind as he began to rub his nose a little further in, creating an insistent friction against Kili's cock. The younger chuckled quietly, gripping his brother's fur a little tighter. "I guess not."

Fili rubbed a little harder, drawing a quiet moan from Kili's lips. They hadn't done this for a long while…not with Fili in bear form…and Kili was pleased to acknowledge that he _wanted_ it. There was something about it that made him so undeniably _hot_ for his brother, and he hadn't felt that heat in a while…not since before Duri's disappearance. So, with a sigh of sweet surrender, he reached down to his belt, quietly exposing himself to Fili's hungry gaze. He could actually see saliva gathering at the corners of his lover's mouth as he watched him. For a moment, he just lay there, one arm flung out over the bed while his other hand wrapped enticingly around his quickly-swelling member. Fili watched as he touched himself, a low growl rumbling in his throat. Kili groaned quietly as he fisted himself.

"Hngh…Fili…Fili…touch me," he pleaded, and Fili obliged, pressing his nose against the thatch of curly hair between Kili's legs…then lower…against the heated, tender flesh of his cock. Kili whimpered quietly, begging for more. He tangled his fingers in the warm fur of Fili's ruff, his grip tightening when his tongue darted out to taste him.

Kili's head fell back and a rather loud gasp left his throat when he felt the warm roughness of his brother's tongue. The hand that gripped the sheets held a little faster as he gently began to rut against Fili's mouth. Another rumble traveled through Fili's body as he growled and the vibration moved through Kili's body, as well, causing him to tremble.

"Fili…hngh…nnh…I'm going to…please…"

Rather than pushing him over the edge as he normally did, Fili pulled back, and Kili soon realized why when he looked to the window and saw the red glow of the last of the sunset. Was it really that late? Had they really spent that long fooling around in the bed? Scrambling for the blindfold, he secured it just as Fili's powerful muscles began to tremble.

Kili, however, thought about things as he listened to the transformation, and when Fili was by his side again, all soft skin and proper hands, he came to a decision.

"Fili?" he started softly, reaching out to touch his brother's cheek. "I…I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"I want…to do this without the blindfold."

"You're…sure?" Fili asked, laying a hand over top of his.

"I'm sure. I know you've…always trusted me…but I finally…trust _myself_ enough to do this. I know how much you hate the blindfold," he said, reaching his free hand up to tangle in Fili's blond curls.

"All right," Fili said softly, leaning in to kiss his brother. "We'll take it slow."

With that, Fili moved to straddle Kili's hips, reaching down to untie the blindfold. Then he set it aside and leaned down for another kiss.

Kili lay very still as Fili took the lead, being careful to keep his eyes closed. At first, he couldn't quite help the tension in his body.

"Relax," Fili encouraged him, trailing slow kisses along his face and neck, but Kili wasn't able to until he began to kiss his eyes, one warm, soft kiss against the delicate skin of each eyelid, then a whisper to his ear.

"I love you."

At this, Kili began to feel tears prick at his eyes for reasons he couldn't explain. Before Fili could ask what was wrong, he pulled him into his arms and whispered back, "I love you, too."

Kili didn't doubt himself after that. He was able to enjoy himself as Fili stripped him naked, lavished kisses all along his skin, paying special attention to his eyes…and Kili reveled in every sensation, every other sense heightened by the lack of sight. He moaned passionately for his brother as he took him, their bodies moving together in the darkness. He had never felt so close to Fili as he did in those precious moments. The contact and the love between them were absolute, and when Kili finally came, it was harder than he ever had before. The bliss tore through his body like a raging storm, leaving him breathless and nearly unconscious. He was barely even aware of the moment their perfect knot was untied and Fili collapsed to the bed beside him, a separate being once again.

They clung to each other like that all night…not asleep…but not awake, either…simply together…holding fast. Even after everything they'd been through, Kili was relieved they could still desire each other in this simplest of ways…and it wasn't until Fili pulled away from him at sunrise that he truly felt the pain of their separation.

XxX


	3. Part Three

(A/N) Well, gentle readers, it seems I've been going too easy on you. You want angst? You want suffering? You shall have them both.

Mudkipz: You're...only just now coming to the conclusion that I might be insane? Oh, dear. It seems I've been too subtle.**  
**

**Ere the Sun Rises**

_**Part Three**_

_Of course, with the two princes sleeping together again, it wasn't long at all before the younger prince fell pregnant again. Both were overjoyed, certainly, but fearful, as well._

_ This pregnancy taxed the young prince as the first one had not. He grew weaker and spent a great deal of time in bed. He had no appetite but forced himself to eat just the same, knowing he __**had**__ to…or he would lose this child, too._

_ As weak as he was, the prince fell ill several times during the pregnancy. His brother stayed with him every moment, encouraging him through it…and he fought, for all their sakes, though the battle with his body and spirit nearly cost him his life. That struggle only became harder once it was discovered the prince was carrying twins._

_ As had happened the first time, the young prince went into labor on a very stormy afternoon. The labor was difficult and his brother remained with him for as long as he could, but was ultimately forced behind his curtain by the setting sun, changing back to his true form. Though he desperately wanted to be with his love, to hold him and encourage him, he could do nothing but listen to him scream in agony._

XxX

Kili couldn't remember when he'd been in such pain…not when Duri was born…not when he'd been attacked by the white bear…Not even when Fili had accidentally attacked him. He had felt so much pain these last years, but this was worse than all of it. He was no longer capable of perceiving the world around him. He couldn't hear the chatter of the physicians or his father…couldn't hear his own screams or Fili's despairing cries. The world around him was black and there was only pain to fill that blackness. By now, he was ready to give up, to stop fighting and let it all end…anything to make this pain stop. That was the moment he heard a baby's cry through his haze of agony. After what felt like an eternity to him, he heard his father's voice at his ear.

"You have a daughter, Kili. You and your brother have a daughter…and she's beautiful and perfectly healthy."

"Sh-Shiri," he hissed through his pain, wanting to give the name now…in case he lost his chance.

"Shiri? Is that her name?" When Kili nodded his head in response, Thorin gripped his shoulders tightly. "You're doing _so well,_ my son. You'll be able to rest soon. Just a little more. The second child is almost here."

Again, all Kili could manage was a nod. Yet another eternity later, with a last torrent of blood and a harrowing scream, their third child was born.

As he listened to the baby cry, Kili felt the world slipping away from him. He was fast losing consciousness and he didn't know whether he would ever wake again to say the name he and Fili had chosen. He knew nothing about this child, didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl, didn't even know if it would live…but as his vision faded to black, he softly called out the name…

"Nuri."

…then he knew nothing more.

Fili felt panic rising in his chest when Kili's voice did not join the cries of the newborn. Resisting the urge to tear aside the curtain, he called out, "Father? What's happening? What's happened to Kili? What's wrong?!"

"He's unconscious," Thorin reported tersely, "but he's still breathing."

Fili felt his heart stop as he gripped the curtain in white fists.

_No…Kili, __**no.**__ Please don't die. Don't die on me…not _**_now._**

"The prince will live, Highness," Oin reported. "I am not so certain of his child."

Only then did Fili realize that the second baby's cries were much weaker than the first's.

"What's wrong?!" he continued to demand.

"The child is very small. His lungs and heart are weak. I cannot say whether he will survive the night," Oin explained.

"Mahal have mercy," the prince whispered. It would destroy them both to lose another child; he knew. The grief may well tear him in two, and Kili…Kili wouldn't survive. He couldn't take it. He had taken Duri's disappearance so hard…

"Is it…a boy or a girl?" he finally made himself ask.

"It's a boy," Thorin answered. "You have a son again."

"Please," Fili whispered, gripping the curtains even tighter. "Please save him. Save our son. Do what you must."

"I will do my best, my prince."

At that, Fili saw someone move to stand next to the curtain. Seeing the faint outline of a dwarf holding a bundle, the prince loosened his death grip on the fabric, holding his hand gently against it. Then he felt a very tiny hand brush against his palm. His child…his son…

"Nuri…" he said softly, feeling tears of both sorrow and joy prick at his eyes.

"Please…save him."

With that, Oin was gone and Thorin stood at the curtain in his place.

"I will close the door once the others have left. You can come to your brother then. He's resting now, but he should wake before too long."

"What about Shiri? How is she?"

"Healthy enough, if the strength of that cry is anything to go by," his father said, chuckling quietly. "She lies in their cradle. Kili will be too weak to nurse her for quite some time, so milk has been prepared. You can nurse her when the room's been cleared."

"Thank you, Father."

Fili waited quietly while the other physicians cleaned up. There was no sign of Kili stirring, but he could hear Shiri crying, making her plea to the world in the only way she could. She was hungry and she wanted comfort, but none of the others could take the time to soothe her, as they all had their orders to clear out. Fili breathed a sigh of relief when he finally heard the door close behind his father.

The first thing Fili did upon emerging was to go to his brother. Kili lay on their bed, cleaned of blood and sweat with several heavy blankets piled upon him. He was clearly exhausted beyond all reason, but he was at least resting peacefully. Smiling faintly, he leaned down to press a loving kiss to his lips.

"You did so well, my love. Rest now. I'll see to everything else."

Before he went to Shiri, Fili took the blindfold off the table and secured it around Kili's eyes. Then he lifted their daughter from the double cradle that had been made for the twins. The poor little thing was red in the face from crying and being picked up didn't help much. Fili picked up one of the bottles his father had ordered prepared and carried Shiri over to the rocking chair that hadn't seen much use since Duri's disappearance. Settling down, he began to feed his daughter, crooning softly to her all the while.

There was no need to worry about blindfolds with the babies, as their eyes weren't fully developed. Shiri couldn't see anything more than a few inches from her face properly. It might have been an issue when they got older, except that there were now only six months remaining until the curse was broken and they were all free.

Shiri clutched tightly at the bottle, nursing in a way that could almost be described as furious, but it didn't seem to help any. Shiri was still agitated when she turned her tiny mouth away from the bottle, whining in helpless frustration. Continuing to hum softly, Fili went about burping her, but that didn't help either. The little girl was still fussy and continued to be so right up until Kili began to stir.

As Kili slowly pulled himself back to consciousness, Fili joined him on the bed, waiting patiently. When he finally lifted his head, Fili leaned over and kissed his brow.

"Welcome back. Did you sleep well?"

Kili mumbled his faint assent, still hazy with sleep…but then his shoulders stiffened as memory returned to him.

"Fili! The babies!" he shouted, trying to sit up before Fili pushed him back down. "Nuri and Shiri! Are they all right?!"

"Shh, sh, sh," Fili soothed him, as if _he_ were the child. "It's all right. Shiri is right here. She's fine. I'm holding her now."

"What…what about…Nuri? Where's-"

"Nuri's with Oin."

"Why? What's wrong?!"

"Hush," Fili scolded him, still rocking their daughter. "Shiri's barely calm as it is and your shouting isn't helping," he said, taking Kili's hand in his free one and guiding it to Shiri's small head.

"Oh…oh, baby…I'm so sorry," Kili said softly, gently petting the fuzz atop her head. As he calmed, Fili slowly passed Shiri to him, his arms instinctively forming a cradle for her.

"Nuri's very weak," Fili explained. "They're doing what they can to keep him alive."

"Our boy…our poor baby boy," Kili lamented quietly, holding Shiri a little tighter. Then he turned his face in the direction of his brother's voice, as if actually looking at him. "Fili, what will we do if he dies? What if he's dead already?" he asked, his throat growing tight with anguish.

Gazing sadly on his brother and their daughter, Fili pulled them into his arms, holding them close. "There will be nothing we _can_ do…if we lose him…nothing but lay him to rest with love."

"He _can't_ die!" Kili cried, the sound muffled against his brother's shoulder.

"It is in Mahal's hands now; not ours."

At these words, Fili felt Kili stiffen against him. Then he turned his face up, the anger clear even without the fierce gaze of his dark eyes.

"What has Mahal ever done for us?"

For a moment, Fili couldn't speak. The venom in his brother's words was like a physical blow.

"What did you do…to have this curse placed on your head? What did we do that our child was taken from us? What sin did we commit…to be punished like this? Mahal has no love for the princes of Erebor. It would be nothing to him to give Nuri to us…and take him away in the same breath."

"We still have Shiri," Fili reminded him.

"For how long? We have had no happiness for long these seven years. How long before this precious child also vanishes into the night?"

"That's not fair, Kili. We've had each other. We could have suffered this alone. Besides, we've only half a year remaining. Soon the spell will be broken and we will be free of Thrain."

Trembling, Kili carefully began to rein in his anger, nodding as he rested against his brother, Shiri cradled carefully between them.

"I'm sorry. I was just…so angry. I feel so helpless. We _should_ be able to protect our children…but we _can't._"

"We can only do our best," Fili soothed, rubbing his back as he held him and Shiri close. "We won't give up. We'll fight until we've won."

Kili didn't say anything, but Fili could feel his lips shift into a smile against his shoulder. The two young parents waited up for as long as they possibly could, hoping for word from Oin, but they did ultimately drift into an uneasy sleep with Shiri cradled in a warm nest between them, restless as she still was. Someone did enter their chamber, but it wasn't who they were expecting…not even anyone they could actually see.

As always, Bilbo was silent as he carried Duri into the room. No one could hear or see him unless he willed it.

"Now Duri, you can see your new sister, but you mustn't remove the blindfold until I tell you it's safe. Do you understand?"

Duri nodded. He had gotten very good at being quiet. He was probably the quietest two-year-old that had ever lived. Bilbo sat him on the bed next to Kili, guiding him down to kiss his cheek.

"I love you, Papa," he whispered against the stubble on Kili's cheek, just as he did every night. Kili shifted in his sleep, mumbling quietly. Then Bilbo moved the dwarfling to the middle of the bed, directing him to look down at the baby girl as he lifted the blindfold.

"All right, you can look now, but you mustn't look anywhere else."

Duri opened his eyes, smiling when he saw his baby sister, who opened her eyes to look up at him.

"Hi, Shiri," he said, kissing her nose. "My name's Duri. I'm your big brother. Nuri wanted me to tell you he's all right, but he misses you. I love you both. Can you tell Papa and Father I love them, too?"

Shiri wriggled a tiny hand free of her nest, cooing as she reached for her brother's face. Duri giggled quietly, leaning down to kiss her forehead one more time before his grandfather secured the blindfold back over his eyes. Then he carried him to the other side of the bed, being careful not to look at his firstborn as he set Duri down beside him.

Bilbo couldn't guide Duri to properly kiss his father when he was in his true form, so Duri just hugged Fili instead, nestling his small head against the blond dwarf's heartbeat.

"I love you, Father. Grandpa says I get to meet you soon. He says you'll be happy. I hope he's right. I want you to like me."

"They'll love you, little sapphire. They miss you so much," Bilbo reassured him as he picked him up, starting to head out of the room. He had been with Thorin and Oin, so he knew Nuri was doing fine. He would be frail, but at least he would live…which was why it tore at Bilbo all the harder…to know that he had to do what he had to do.

He would also have to take the twins under his protection. He wanted to give his sons as long with their children as he possibly could but, inevitably, he knew that Thrain would come and try to take them away…and when he did, the halfling would be ready for him.

XxX

_One month the two princes had with their children. The baby boy was very weak, but he lived. The young parents were completely devoted to him and his sister, making certain that they never wanted for anything. The kingdom rejoiced in the birth of the twins and, for that brief moment in time, they knew peace._

_ The princes knew better than to think they were safe, though. One or the other kept a vigil each night, ready to protect their treasures…and of course their fears proved to be founded…one calm night…_

XxX

If anything, Kili found that he was more alert _with_ the blindfold than without it. He heard every sound, could smell the distinct scent of their chamber, and feel changes in the air around him. Fili was sleeping in their bed while he sat in the rocking chair beside the cradle, blade in hand, keeping watch over the twins. He heard Fili mumble and shift in his sleep.

Kili was aware the moment the wind from outside changed, but it wasn't a change in the weather. Could it be…Thrain?

Getting to his feet, Kili placed himself between the window and the cradle. He knew it the moment someone else was in the room with them, even though he could hear nothing.

"Who's there?"

Nothing.

"I warn you: leave now. I won't allow you to touch my children," he threatened, dagger raised. This wasn't Thrain…couldn't be. He would be gloating now. But if it wasn't Thrain who had come for Nuri and Shiri…who _was_ it?

Kili heard Fili wake before he called out, "What's wrong?"

"Someone's in here," Kili hissed.

"But…I don't-"

"_Someone._ Is _in_ here," Kili repeated ferociously, only vaguely noting the sound of his brother rising from the bed. Then he heard Shiri begin to cry…but only for a moment before falling silent.

"_Shiri!_" he cried out in panic as he spun back to the cradle, but when he reached for his children he found the tiny bed empty, just like three years ago.

"No…no…"

"They're gone. They're _gone,_ Kili," he heard Fili's horrified voice at his ear.

"_NO!_" Kili screamed, collapsing to his knees beside the cradle, gripping the wood in tight, white fists. "What has…happened…to our children?!"

XxX

_The younger prince fell into a daze after that night. He could hardly be coaxed into eating or sleeping and he hardly spoke to his brother, much less anyone else. Oftentimes, he would sit beside the cradle, absently rocking the useless piece of furniture. For hours upon end, he would repeat the endless motion, eyes empty and staring at nothing._

_ For four months this went on, until only one month remained in the curse. Even though both princes were miserable, the conditions had been met for the curse to break at the appointed time. All they needed to do was wait._

_ However, the former king wasn't quite done with the brothers yet. He had long planned for the coming day and he was not about to let his grandsons defeat him. He had one last trick up his sleeve…something he had saved for the utmost end of need._

_ The prince would be his…even if he had to destroy his baby brother in order for that to happen._

XxX

Kili was rocking the cradle again.

Fili could hardly stand to be around him when he got like this. The creaking sound of the cradle and the devastated hunch of his brother's body caused the guilt to clutch at his heart until he could barely breathe. He felt so helpless…like there was absolutely nothing he could do to bring the light back into Kili's eyes…as if, in a way, he had already lost him.

"Wouldn't your baby brother be so much better off without you?" a new voice entered the guest room he was currently pacing.

"_You!_" he growled, looking up to see Thrain standing before him.

"Your brother's going to die, you know."

"What are you talking about?"

"Even _if_ your curse is broken, it will not bring your lost children back. This mysterious force will continue to take your children away from you. If dear Kili were to become pregnant again…bear another child…only to lose it…you would lose _him._ The grief would kill him. You _know_ this. His life is in your hands."

"Just you wait. The moment this curse is broken, I'm going to get our children back. I won't rest until I bring our babies back to Kili."

Thrain laughed quietly at this. "Can't you see that Kili would be so much better off if you were dead?"

For a moment, Fili couldn't speak, because part of him believed that was true, but he somehow managed to shake off his fear and fire back, "I'm not listening to this. You'll say anything to come between us, anything at all. One more month and your curse breaks. We'll have won."

Thrain sneered at him. "Do you know…_why_ I give you back your own form at night?"

Fili shook his head.

"It is because I must. If I simply left you as a white bear, you would lose yourself completely and be unable to return to your true form _ever._ I tried to prevent your coupling with your brother several times by holding the transformation back…but no matter what I tried, Kili refused to fear you and I had to give you back in the end…or risk losing you altogether. Only now…with little other option left…I am willing to risk that loss with so little time remaining."

For a moment, it did not sink in. But as Thrain leered at him, he began to understand, quite plainly, what it was he hoped he would do…if he lost himself just long enough…

"Kili," he whispered in sudden fear, but even as he made for the door, he could already feel the transformation beginning in his bones…maybe even happening a little faster this time.

"Just what did you think you were going to do?" Thrain taunted him, placing a hand on the door as Fili's rapidly shifting hands slipped from it. "Warn him? You can't even speak anymore," he said, stroking the snout that was rapidly sprouting from his face. Fili roared in despair, ramming his head against the door.

"Enjoy the day, my dear grandson. At sunset, you'll start to feel it…then you won't feel anything at all. Your precious lover will mean nothing to you…and he's only a few doors down from this spot. He will be the first one you kill."

As Thrain vanished, laughing, Fili threw his head back and let out a sound that could almost have been a scream. He couldn't let this happen. He _couldn't!_ Not Kili!

_What can I do? What can I do? Oh, Kili, what can I __**do?!**_

Fili spent the rest of the day curled up in the room, ears flattened and nose buried in his large paws, attempting to shut the world out. Despite his best efforts, though, he could still smell Kili, and that scent would be the first thing he smelled when he lost his mind.

He _could_ try to run, but he knew there was no point. Thrain would never allow him to escape from this. All he could do was pray…pray and weep without the use of tears.

_Mahal…mercy. Please…save him. Don't let this happen. Send him from my side. I would gladly give him up…if it would save his life. Please…even after I start to disappear…let some part of me know him. I beg you!_

As the minutes wore down toward the inevitable, Fili realized that the scent of his brother was becoming stronger. It filled his awareness until nothing else remained.

_Kili…Kili…__**Kili!**_

To the white bear, the scent of Kili had come to mean 'mate,' and the only thing the great beast could comprehend was that its mate was nearby…and he was not yet with cubs…even though the bear could tell by the smell that he _wanted_ to be. Fili felt horror grip his heart as his own mind was pulled under by the bear's singular instincts. Maybe…maybe he wouldn't _eat_ his brother…but…

_No! No, no, Kili! __**NO!**_

Fili fought for as long as he could, but he lost in the end, as he knew he must. Before he was completely gone, his last thought was of Kili's smile…that precious twitch of lips that had the light to fight the shadows.

_Will I…ever see you smile again?_

XxX

Even though he was mostly out of touch with the world around him, Kili still remembered to put the blindfold on every night. It was force of habit by now…even if Fili no longer came to him every night. As such, he couldn't _see_ what was happening, but he _knew_ something was wrong just the same.

The first indication was the sound of the door slamming open.

"Fili?" he called out uncertainly. Then he heard the heavy padding of the white bear's paws and the harsh sound of its breathing. Hadn't…the transformation happened yet?

"Fili?" he tried one more time, only to be met with a low growl. Slowly, beginning to fear, he loosened the blindfold, letting it slide down around his neck. Then he looked up…until he met the black gaze of the white bear standing before him.

"Oh, no," he whispered, feeling true fear for perhaps the first time in his life. Before…he had not truly doubted that he could call his brother back from this state, but something was different tonight. Somehow, he felt that the battle had already been lost, even before it had been fought. Moving as slowly as he possibly could, he stood from the rocking chair, holding a hand out to the bear.

"Are you going to kill me?" he asked as the bear sniffed at his hand, even though he knew he would receive no answer.

"Kili! Fili!" he heard their father shouting as fists pounded on the door. Somehow it had come to be closed and locked. "What's going on in there?!"

Kili didn't answer. He was focused too intently on the bear to think of anything else. Even though this was a bear and not his brother, they were still somehow connected and he could sense his answer through that link. He could feel the bear's desire for him.

Kili knew he couldn't escape from this. If he tried to run, the bear would be on him before he even made it halfway to the door. Besides, he didn't feel that he _wanted_ to escape from this. He felt almost…responsible for it, in a way. Failing to protect Fili…failing to protect their children…and then just shutting his brother out…his failure was that monumental.

"Okay," he said softly, resting his head against the bear's. "Okay."

Then the bear flipped him to the ground, placing a possessive paw on his back. The young dwarf struck his head against the hard stone floor as he fell, rendering him dazed and confused for several minutes. He was hardly aware of it when the bear tore the clothing from his body with teeth and claws. All he knew was that he was naked and cold…and there was suddenly warm fur pressing against him…and something infinitely warmer and harder than the fur.

Kili vaguely recalled thinking, once upon a time, that if Fili ever took him this way, his body wouldn't be able to take it…and he began to feel just how right he was as he was penetrated. There was nothing even remotely comparable to the pain he experienced when the bear tore into him. He could feel every tiny detail as his body broke…as he bled onto the floor. He struggled, but there was no escaping it, no escaping the hot weight pressing down on him, so Kili did the only thing he could do.

He screamed.

XxX

Thorin had known something was wrong when he'd seen Fili barge into their room. He'd been on his way to try and rouse Kili when he'd seen the bear charge in. Before he could interfere, though, the door closed behind the white bear and when he tried it, it had somehow been locked.

"Kili! Fili!" he shouted, banging desperately on the door. "What's going on in there?!"

As he continued to pound fruitlessly on the door, he heard Fili roar. Then he heard Kili screaming…hideous, harrowing cries that spoke of horrors from the very depths of hell.

"_Kili!_" he shouted, taking out his axe and starting to hack away at the unyielding slab of wood, but the uncaring thing refused to give until Kili's screams had faded into silence.

By the time Thorin finally pushed aside the ruined door, he found the bear crouched over his son, lowing in contentment. Kili wasn't moving and there was blood on the animal's jaw.

"Get away from my son, you _monster!_" he shouted at the beast, raising his axe, ready to strike.

The bear roared as it stepped back from Kili, moving up onto its hind legs. Thorin felt horror grip his chest when he saw that the creature's belly and thighs were coated with blood…and when he looked down at Kili's unmoving body, he saw why. The king didn't know when he had ever seen such brutality.

_Fili…what have you done?_

Thorin shook his head, forcing himself back from the idea that this beast was still his firstborn. Fili would never hurt Kili like this. He just _wouldn't._

"You're not my son," he said under his breath, focusing his eyes on the bear's black gaze.

"No…" a weak voice suddenly whimpered. Shocked, Thorin looked down again to see a hand reaching from the wreck that had been Kili's body. "No…Father…no…_please…_"

For a moment, Thorin considered his youngest's plea, but then the bear roared again and the two launched headfirst into a fight.

"No…" Kili continued to plead, his voice destroyed by the screaming. "Please…don't…don't do this."

Thorin got in a good swipe at the bear's shoulder before it delivered a nasty blow with its left paw.

"Stop…Fili…Father…please…"

Thorin jumped to the side when the bear took another swipe at him, roaring in rage when it missed.

"Don't…hurt him…don't hurt him…please…"

The dwarf king matched the bear's roar of anger when he managed to sink the axe into its side, spilling a river of fresh blood onto the floor. The creature roared in pain.

"_NO!_" Kili cried out. Feeling searing pain in every nerve as he moved, Kili reached out to grab their father's ankle when he came close enough.

Thorin's moment of distraction to look down was all it took. The bear swatted him to the side, sending the king flying into the far wall. The sound of his skull cracking against the stone echoed ominously in the chamber. Then the bear went to its downed opponent, sinking its teeth into his side and beginning to savage him.

"Fili…Fili, please…no…" Kili called out, his voice growing weaker. He could do nothing but raise his arm. He would black out soon. But in the minutes before he lost consciousness, he finally saw the black gaze begin to shift…back to the eyes he knew. Fili gave a confused whine as he dropped Thorin. Then his gaze fell on Kili.

"Fili…Fili…"

Coming back to himself was like waking up from a very deep sleep. At first, he was dazed, the scent of blood, sex, and his brother heavy in his nose…and the taste thick in his mouth. Confused by the body he held in his mouth, he quickly dropped it. Then, as his transformation began, he turned.

At first, all he could see was a bloodied lump lying on the floor, but then his eyes got better and the figure inexorably resolved itself into the absolute last thing he wanted to see.

Kili…lying on the floor…eyes closed and unmoving…clothing stripped away and bloody bite marks littering his neck and shoulders…and last and most horrible of all, his legs spread wide…thighs and backside coated with blood and semen…and his entrance…ravaged and torn…bleeding badly…damaged nearly beyond repair…

Fili slowly dropped to his knees at his brother's side, his soul crushed by despair. He needed no one to tell him _he_ had done this.

"No," he whispered, reaching out a hesitant hand to touch his baby brother's cheek. Kili offered him a weak smile, keeping his eyes carefully shut.

"Wasn't…your fault," Kili whispered, drawing up the arm he could still move and resting his hand on Fili's. "I don't…blame you…"

Fili felt his body shaking as he gathered Kili in his arms, both of them naked and covered in blood. Before either could say anything more, Kili's head flopped against Fili's chest, unconscious.

For what felt like a long time to Fili, he just knelt there, cradling his brother's unconscious weight in his arms, rocking him like a little child. Briefly, he was reminded of the image of Kili rocking the empty cradle.

"No…no…no…"

He couldn't take it in. This couldn't be them. This couldn't be their life. This couldn't have happened to Kili…bright, shining, beautiful, wonderful Kili. He couldn't have done this.

_Why?_

Finally, Fili threw his head back and screamed…a sound of such horror and pain, the guards responding to the commotion didn't dare to enter the chamber until several minutes after the harrowing sound had faded away.

XxX

_Both the king and the young prince had been badly injured in the attack. The king remained in a coma from his head injuries and the prince couldn't walk for nearly a week after. The kingdom was left reeling in the wake of the tragedy and the crown prince went into seclusion, refusing to see anyone, neither sleeping nor eating, simply lying in a room alone, transforming as the hours dictated._

_ As the final month drew to a close, the king consort feared the former king would soon make his move, but he couldn't guess what he might try and he couldn't protect his own children while continuing to protect theirs. He could do nothing but wait and watch._

_ Then, on the night before the crown prince's seventy-second birthday, the night before the curse would have been broken, the former king finally came to the prince._

XxX

Fili was aware the moment he was no longer alone…and of course he _knew_ who the intruder was, tonight being tonight. He pulled his legs a little tighter against his chest, shivering on the cold floor.

"Kill me," he begged quietly. "Put an axe to my throat…a sword through my chest…you could even use your magic. I don't _care._ Just _kill me._ The others won't do it…and I'm allowed no weapons. Kill me _now._ Just _end it._"

"You should know by now it's not that easy," his grandfather soothed as he sat down behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Do you see now…what I've told you all along…that Kili would be so much better off if you were dead?"

Fili nodded, unable to help whimpering.

"So long as you are alive, he will suffer…so long as you are together. Even _if_ the curse breaks tomorrow, you can never go back to the way things were before. You've broken everything. I won't kill you, my Fili, but I think you _know_ how to end this," he said, tangling his fingers in the young dwarf's loose golden hair.

Fili nodded slowly. He knew what to do. He didn't _want_ to; it would be cruel…to end things this way after they'd struggled for so long…but it was the only way to protect Kili. He had said once…that his faith was with Kili…but he had destroyed that faith himself…with his own hands. This was the only way he could give him back his life.

"He's pregnant again…I don't think _he_ even knows. But the bear knew. It could smell it the moment it happened. I don't know how…but maybe…maybe he'll be allowed to keep this child…if I'm not here anymore."

"So go, my Fili. Go and set him free."

XxX

The corridor was deserted as Fili moved silently down it, sheltering a small candle as he walked. He had pulled a cloak on over his naked body, keeping the hood drawn carefully up around his face. This had to be done right. No one else could see. It had to be Kili.

Their room was dark when he entered. He hadn't seen Kili since it happened, but he was amazed that his brother had started sleeping in this chamber again. Fili couldn't help the sad smile that crossed his face when he saw Kili sleeping in their bed. Tears pricked at his eyes as he set the candle down beside the bed.

_Wait,_ he could almost swear he could hear his papa's voice at his ear. _Don't do this, Fili. __**Please.**__ We can work this out._

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I _have_ to."

Saying so, Fili carefully untied the strip of black cloth from around Kili's eyes, setting it aside. Then he stroked the soft brown hair that framed his face. Mahal, he was so lovely…so perfect.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you. I'll miss you…but you need to be free of me."

With that, he leaned over and pressed a loving kiss to his brother's lips. As he pulled back, he saw Kili begin to stir.

First his eyes seemed to move beneath the lids. Then he shifted, as if about to stretch. He drew in a longer breath of air, and finally, his eyelids flickered open.

For a moment, he smiled up at him, and the two brothers gazed into the most beautiful pair of eyes either had ever known…eyes they had missed so desperately for seven long years. Smiling, Fili leaned down to kiss him one last time.

"I love you," he said softly, stroking his hair one last time.

That was when Kili began to understand. The love and warmth in his smile shifted into a look of disbelief and horror.

"Fili…" he murmured in shock. "What have you done?"

"You will be free," he said, continuing to smile as a gust of wind swept through the room, and quite suddenly, he was swept away from Kili.

"No! Wait! _FILI!_" he screamed, reaching out and grasping nothing but empty air.

For several moments, Kili just lay there, crumpled in the sheets, unable to process what had happened. Why? Why?! _Mahal, why?!_

"Why did you do it, Fili? Why? Why did you leave me? We would have been free tomorrow night."

"He did it to protect you," a new voice suddenly entered the room…a voice he hadn't heard in a long time. Kili looked up in shock to see Bilbo emerge from the darkness, along with all his young charges.

"Papa?"

"Yes, Kili, it's me," he said, laying down the bundle he held at the foot of the bed and coming to his son. Being careful of his still fragile body, he pulled him into his arms.

"Papa, he's gone! He's taken him from me. Fili's gone!"

"I know. I know. Thrain's taken him far away…and only _you_ can get him back."

"Me? How?"

"In due time, Kili. Don't you want to meet your children first?" Bilbo asked, a somewhat less sad smile on his face.

"My…you mean-" Kili started, realizing there were others with the hobbit…someone much shorter who carried a second bundle. Kili stared in shock as he watched the child expertly climb onto the bed while still holding his bundle. The dark-haired child glanced shyly up at him from beneath the hood of his cloak, gently cradling his bundle.

"Hi, Papa."

"D…Duri?" Kili whispered, afraid to draw him closer, afraid to touch…lest this beautiful vision fade into the night once again.

"Uh-huh," the three-year-old said, nodding vigorously as he held up the bundle he carried. When Kili peeked inside, he could just barely make out a pudgy baby face looking back at him. "And this is Nuri. Grandpa has Shiri. Do…do you like us, Papa?"

For several moments, Kili was too stunned to speak. For three years, he had wasted away longing for these children, and now…to have them back so suddenly…he didn't know _how_ to handle it…until he noticed Duri begin to sniffle a little bit, anyway.

"You…you don't like us…do you?" his firstborn cried quietly, trying to wipe at his eyes.

"Oh…oh, darling, my sweethearts, my treasures," Kili exulted as he gathered his two sons in his arms. "Of _course_ I like you. I've loved you your whole life. I just…it seems I couldn't be with you. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry I had to keep them from you…but it was the only way to protect them. If Thrain had gotten a hold of them, he would surely have done them harm."

"Where…where have you been all this time?" Kili asked, holding his two sons close and stroking Duri's dark hair.

"Here. Always here. You see, there was something about the magic of halflings I never told anyone. We can go unseen if we wish, unseen and unheard. Your babies have always been near you. I brought them in to say goodnight every night. Only your father knew. The fewer who knew, the less likely it was Thrain would have been able to track them down."

"I missed them," Kili said softly, tears trickling down his face as he kissed the top of Nuri's little head. "I missed them so much. How are they? Is…is Nuri doing well?"

Bilbo nodded. "He's still smaller than his sister, but he's eating more now. His breathing is stronger. I can't keep his sister quiet, though. The castle should be well pleased they've missed out on her yowling. She's only happy when she's beside her brother."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course," Bilbo said, bringing Shiri into the little circle. The baby girl smiled as he laid her in Kili's lap. Wriggling her arms free of her blanket, she reached up toward her papa. He felt the tears come a little harder as he gave her a finger to latch onto.

"My little princess," he said softly.

"Duri's been a very good big brother. He helps me look after his siblings."

Kili smiled at Duri through his tears. "Have you? Have you been a good boy, my little ruby?"

Duri nodded, laying Nuri beside his sister before cuddling shyly against Kili's side. Kili leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to his firstborn's head. It was all so wonderful. He finally had his children back and they were all so beautiful and perfect. His family was finally coming back together…

…except that his children's father was now gone…vanished into the night, just as each one of them had.

"Papa…you said there was a way to get Fili back. What is it? What do I need to do?"

Bilbo's expression once again grew solemn at this. "It will not be easy. You see, Kili, when your father and I were searching for a way to break Fili's curse…back before you were born…we met up with an old friend of mine: an old wizard by the name of Gandalf."

"You know a wizard?" Duri asked, looking at his grandfather with wide eyes.

"Indeed, I do, little one," Bilbo said, tussling the dwarfling's hair. "The point being, though, he informed us of just how it was that Thrain came to learn his craft. It was from a wizard even older than Gandalf…a dark wizard by the name of Saruman…one whose power was waning. When he searched for a successor, he came upon Thrain, alone and helpless in the wilderness, desperate for revenge. He was willing to give anything to learn what Saruman had to teach…and we can see he gave much."

"The eye," Kili said quietly, remembering the eye patch Thrain wore, the single eye that was missing from his grandfather's face.

"Yes. Thrain learned well, of course, visiting the curse on your brother's head. He is now the master of dark sorcery Saruman was. Saruman had died even before we came into contact with Gandalf, and Thrain had taken up residence in his fortress…a fortress that lies far to the North…even farther than you and your brother traveled. It is to that place you must go if you wish to rescue him."

"Then that is where I am bound," Kili said, eyes gazing out into the darkness of the bedroom as he continued to stroke Duri's hair.

"That journey will be long and difficult…and you are not yet fully healed…from what happened. You must be at full strength before you set out."

"And what will happen to Fili? In all that time…what will Thrain do to him?"

The look on Bilbo's face made Kili want to be sick with the fear that was boiling in his gut. "I couldn't say for certain. He wants Fili for himself…so he will try to make him forget you. He will take his mind from him…make it too painful for him to think of you. I do know, though, that if your brother is in Thrain's power for more than a year, he will be lost to you forever."

Kili's eyes went wide in horror. "Then I must leave soon…as soon as possible. I cannot delay."

"No. You mustn't be rash. If you go off at less than full capacity you will only be playing into Thrain's hands. You will fail in your quest and give him exactly what he wants…Fili for his own and the failure of our house. It will take only a few more months for these wounds to heal."

"Only a few _months?_" Kili repeated. "Fili doesn't have that kind of time. It will take several months more just to _journey_ that far north, never mind getting into this fortress!"

"Kili!" Bilbo chastised him, as if he were still a child. "There's no other way. It will not help Fili for you to just rush into this. I don't think you even realize how badly he hurt you that night."

"That wasn't him. It wasn't his fault. I _know_ it," Kili insisted, hugging Duri a little tighter. "Thrain had something to do with it. It _wasn't Fili._"

Bilbo took a deep breath, laying a hand on Kili's knee. "Of course. You're right. I know that…but it still happened. Just because what happened wasn't his intention…it doesn't mean you weren't raped and badly injured."

"I _wasn't_ raped," he continued to insist. "I consented. I didn't try to run."

"It isn't the same thing, Kili. I know you don't want to think of it that way, but you _were_ violated."

"Why does everyone say that?"

"Because they don't understand…just as you don't. They believe that _Fili_ raped you. That isn't what happened. It was _Thrain_ who raped you; he just used your brother as a means of accomplishing that…and that guilt tears at Fili…no different than if he had done it himself. It is Fili's guilt you will have to defeat…not Thrain's power."

Kili's arguments finally fell silent at this. He had never truly thought of the situation from that standpoint, and even though he was now coming to accept that truth in his heart, he was also understanding something his papa seemed not to…that it wasn't just him Thrain had violated, but Fili, as well, and his brother was surely suffering the effects of a rape that had supposedly happened to _him_. If he knew his brother at all, Fili was suffering as the criminal, rather than as the victim…and he would need to make him see that.

"There's something else you don't know," Bilbo continued when he saw that his son finally understood. "There's no delicate way to put this, so I'll simply say it: you carry a child from that night."

"What? A child?" Kili repeated, looking to his papa again. "How can that be?"

"It doesn't matter what form Fili takes. The ancient magic of the line of Durin still holds. He still loves you…and you him….and in a moment of such high emotion and desperation…the love between you created a new life."

"But I can't wait for the child to be born," Kili said slowly as the realization dawned on him. "There won't be enough time. He will have to go with me…into danger."

"Yes."

"Can…can _we_ go with you, Papa?" Duri asked, looking up at him. For a moment, Kili was shocked by his son's question.

"No…no, baby, of course not. It's much too dangerous. You'll stay here with your grandparents, where it's safe."

"But we want to help Father, too! You'll need help," Duri insisted.

"And you will help me, my treasure. You'll help me by staying here and taking care of Nuri and Shiri. They're only six months old and they need protecting. Can you do that for me?" Kili asked, taking Duri's small hands in his. Duri sniffled quietly, but nodded.

"I can keep them safe."

"That's my good boy," Kili said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Duri's forehead.

The family remained awake for most of the night, talking about the last three years; and as the sky was beginning to lighten outside, Kili and Duri finally drifted off to sleep, with the sleeping twins nestled in between them. Bilbo tucked them all in, kissing each goodnight before finally going to be with his husband after nearly four years, even though Thorin could no longer hear or see him…now the opposite of what it had been these long years.

XxX

Fili awoke in a darkened room, feeling chilled to the bone, even though he found himself lying under several layers of thick fur blankets. It didn't take him long to realize he was naked beneath those blankets, feeling the unnerving rub of fur against his bare skin.

"Did the furs help any?" Thrain asked as he appeared out of the darkness, carrying a tray with a steaming mug on it. "You were shivering."

"No," Fili answered honestly, not sitting up as his grandfather sat beside him. If anything, he wanted to burrow deeper under the furs…to not have to face what was happening.

"Well, you'll have to get used to it, my boy, for you will never know the warmth of the sun again."

No, Fili thought, he never would. He had never needed the light of the sun because he'd had Kili…but he had lost his light on the night he'd gone to Kili with darkness in his eyes. He had lost his sun…destroyed its beautiful warmth with his own two hands. He deserved to suffer in cold and darkness like this.

"Why me?" Fili finally made himself ask. "Why did you choose me?"

"Well, at first I just wanted to punish your parents, but then…perhaps I saw something in you that was like myself. Perhaps I saw a darkness in you that I saw you trying to escape from…but there is no escape. You know this…in your heart. You did right to remove yourself from Kili's life…because it will only grow…that darkness," he whispered in his ear, coaxing him to sit up and pressing the warm mug into Fili's hands.

Fili was just broken enough and there was just enough truth to the words…that he believed them…believed there had always been this monster sleeping inside of him. As his body began to tremble, he took a drink from the mug without thinking.

The flavor that met his tongue was strange…in that it seemed to change with his thoughts. One moment it was the sweet, creamy taste of hot cocoa, the next it was the hardy, savory flavor of a good venison stew. Vaguely, he stared at the mug in his hands.

"What is this?" he asked, sniffing the beverage and receiving the scent of hot buttered bread.

"Just a potion. It will help to keep you warm. You have no magic to speak of and you can't regulate yourself properly up here. You will need it."

"Wouldn't it…be easier…just to turn me back into a bear?" he asked, breathing in the steam from the mug. He couldn't figure out why, but his thoughts seemed to be getting hazy.

"No. You will not be taking on the form of the white bear anymore…but you may well lose your mind to it."

"What?" Fili asked. He hadn't heard that last part. He couldn't see it, of course, but as the potion took effect, his eyes were going dark…just like the bear's.

"Nothing, my little one. Drink. You'll feel better. The pain will go away."

"Go…away…?" he repeated slowly, taking another long drink from the mug.

"Yes," the former king said, stroking Fili's soft golden hair. "You will be warm and safe and happy…no more nightmares…no more pain. You will forget. Won't that be nice?"

"Forget…" he repeated, finishing off the drink in another few swallows.

"Yes," he continued to soothe, taking the mug from him and coaxing him to lie back down on the bed. As he continued to stroke Fili's hair, he undid his belt. "And once you've purged yourself of those memories, you'll be able to properly take your place beside me…at the foot of my throne…and in my bed," he said, pressing a kiss to his grandson's lips as he straddled his hips.

"Memories…remember…" he said. Briefly, the light seemed to come back on in his eyes and he pushed feebly at Thrain. "Remember…_Kili!_"

"No," Thrain said softly, as if chastising a child for making a mistake at lessons. Kissing him again, he reached a hand between his legs, squeezing gently and leering when he felt the younger body respond to him. "Don't remember…forget…forget…forget…" he repeated constantly, as if humming a song. He repeated it again and again as he made love to his grandson, renewing the chorus with every stroke…and as he chanted, Fili began to chant with him.

"Kili…remember…Kili…Kili…re…mem…for…get…Kili…Ki…li …forget…forget Kili…forget…forget…"

"Yes, my beauty…forget."

XxX


	4. Part Four

(A/N) Well, now it seems I have your attention. I hope you're all primed for...

**Ere the Sun Rises**

_**Part Four **_

It was nearly two months before Bilbo would allow his youngest son to set out on his dangerous quest…and as fate would have it, the day he was to set out was the day Thorin came out of his coma. By the time Bilbo, Kili, and the children were brought to him, he was already sitting up in bed. Bilbo went to him immediately, pressing a tender kiss to his lips.

"How are you feeling, my love?"

"Still a little fuzzy…but mostly in one piece. I _do_ remember what happened, though," the king said, looking to Kili, "And Dwalin has told me what's happened since."

Kili looked away from his father's probing gaze, not really certain how to deal with the emotion he saw behind it.

"I'm sorry…for attacking Fili that night…but you didn't see what he'd done to you."

Kili shook his head. "No…it's all right," he said, even though they all knew it wasn't. "I just…I need to get him back."

"I know. I only wanted to give you my blessing before you set out…and assure you your children will be safe here. If Fili remembers…the things I said…he should know that his home is still with us."

"Of course."

"Papa?" Duri suddenly broke into the awkward conversation, tugging on Kili's hand. "I know you said we can't…go with you, but could we give you some stuff that might help?"

"Of course, my treasure," Kili said with a smile, kneeling down so he was at his son's height. "What have you got?"

The first thing Duri held up was a pair of wooden toy knives. He smiled proudly as he handed them to his papa.

"These are mine. Grandpa said if I practiced with them, I'd be a great warrior like my father…but I think you need them more."

"I accept them gladly," Kili said as he tucked the two toys into his belt. "I'll be sure to bring them back to you."

Duri hid a giggle as he pulled out the next gift: a stuffed white bear toy.

"This is Shiri's very favorite toy. He keeps her company when she can't be with Nuri. She says if you get lonely, you can share meals with him."

Kili smiled at his baby daughter, giggling quietly in Bilbo's arms along with her brother.

"Thank you for sharing, my little gem," he said, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

"And this," Duri said with a flourish as he pulled out a baby blanket, "this is Nuri's very first blanket. It kept him safe and he thinks it will keep you safe, too."

Kili also kissed his younger son's forehead. Then he tickled them both under the chin, eliciting even more giggling from the twin babies.

"Thank you both for thinking of your papa. I will most certainly keep your treasures safe and bring them back to you in one piece," he said before turning back to his firstborn and accepting the two gifts from him, tucking them into his pack. Then he knelt before Duri again, pulling him into a last hug.

"You're coming back soon, right?" Duri asked, weeping softly into his shoulder. Kili hugged him a little tighter.

"Just as soon as I can…and I'll bring Father home to us," he reassured him, leaving unsaid that he would either rescue Fili…or he would die trying. At least he knew his children would be well cared for if the worst should happen. "I love you," he whispered to Duri, pressing a last kiss to his cheek before standing to face his own parents.

"You should remember, Kili, that these gifts are tools, not toys. Their use will become more plain to you when the time is right. Gandalf told us before that we'd never be able to breach Thrain's fortress. I'm beginning to think this is why," Bilbo told him.

""Come home alive, my son, and bring your brother with you," said Thorin.

"I will," Kili said firmly, looking around at his family one last time…at his brave, long-suffering parents…at little Duri, bright and shining with the fire of youth…and the twins, his Nuri and Shiri, still so tiny and helpless. It pained him to know that, as with their brother, he would miss their first words and their first steps…but this was the only way to make their family whole again. At least, for now, he knew they were safe and loved. That would have to be enough. Finally, the young prince embraced his parents and departed their chamber, heading toward whatever his fate might be.

XxX

_The journey through the northern wilderness was much harsher and longer on foot than it had been four years before astride the back of a white bear. The young prince also couldn't just subsist as he had before. With child as he was, he had to be certain he remained well fed and stayed warm, which made the going that much slower. It was another two months before he reached the ice fields of the far North, where nothing living could thrive. He carried as much food with him as he possibly could, but a time came when he began to run out._

XxX

Kili's food stores had lasted him two weeks and he was down to the last of them. It wasn't so much hunger that was getting to him as the thought of the child he carried. His son would perish long before he did; then he would starve slowly, dying with the knowledge that he'd failed in his task. So, at the close of another long day of hard travel, feeling desperate and despairing, he did the only thing he really could do: took out the last of his food and Shiri's stuffed bear and sat down to a last meal with it.

"Can you tell her I'm sorry?" he asked the bear as he munched on a strip of rabbit jerky, feeling ready to burst into tears, even though he knew that would only make things worse, as they would just freeze to his face. "Sorry I couldn't bring you back to her."

For several minutes, the floppy bear just smiled at him with its mouth of black yarn. Then it felt as if a gust of warm air swept through the tiny camp and a small feast suddenly appeared before him: a crock of hot seal stew, a warm loaf of bread, and a flask of some hot, spiced drink. For a moment, Kili just stared in awe, but it finally entered his head to snap up the offering before it froze over. He ate his fill of the good, hot food and then some, polishing off everything, knowing the baby needed every morsel.

Once he'd eaten, he picked up the stuffed bear and hugged it tight. He didn't know what sort of magic this was, but even across the vast distance, he could still somehow feel his daughter's love.

"Thank you," he whispered before tucking the stuffed toy snugly back into his pack.

XxX

It was only a few days after his near brush with disaster that Kili came up against the ice wall. It extended in all directions as far as the eye could see, to the sides and straight up, seemingly unendingly into the clouds. How in the world was he supposed to get through this?

Well…it seemed the only way forward was up. After all, who could say how far this sheer cliff extended on either side? At least going up, there was only one direction. Only…how to do it? This obstacle was not going to yield the way so easily.

Briefly, Kili thought of his three treasures. Though the bear's magic clearly wasn't going to be of any help here, the treasure had already granted him a miracle and seen him through an otherwise hopeless situation. Perhaps one of the others could help? The toy knives?

Absurd, he thought as he pulled the two toys from his belt. Whoever heard of a pair of flimsy wooden toys being used to scale an ice face? But then, who'd ever heard of a toy providing feasts from thin air? Shrugging, he drove the first toy blade into the ice.

Miraculously, the dagger held out against the ice, instead of snapping as it should have. It bit deep into the ice, just like an iron hook. Not stopping to question his good fortune, he quickly dug the other dagger in and began to scale the ice cliff.

"Duri, you're my savior," he murmured against the ice face; the rest of his breath was saved for the climb.

It was a horribly dangerous climb, especially without any kind of rope. No human could have managed it…but Kili was no human. He was a dwarf, and he had strength in his body a human man could only dream of, strength born of desperation and love. He forced himself to keep climbing long after even his own strength should have given out. An inch at a time, up the cliff, digging himself little hand and footholds from the sheer ice. He climbed higher and higher, up into the clouds, with no end in sight…kept going even after he had ceased to feel the pain and exhaustion that consumed his body.

He had no idea how long he'd been doing it when he found himself kneeling on mostly flat ice, digging another hold. He'd practically dug himself a little hollow out of the ice. Looking up, he vaguely noted some sort of structure in the distance. Only then did his body seem to realize it should be dead from exhaustion. He unloaded his pack from his back and collapsed beside it, digging feverishly within. Instead of the fur blanket he sought, though, he came up with Nuri's baby blanket, draping it unthinkingly over his shoulders before passing out cold.

XxX

Kili had no way of knowing how long he'd been unconscious when he finally came to, but it felt to him as if he'd slept for days. He felt amazingly well rested and only a little hungry. As he was pulling out the stuffed bear, though, yet another problem arose.

Sounds carried over from the fortress he'd noticed earlier and when he looked up, he could see a group of what looked to be goblins cresting the nearest rise, a group of five. There was nowhere to hide. Surely they could see him…

…and yet the sentry moved no faster in his direction. They just ambled along at a regular pace, seemingly out on patrol. In fact, they didn't notice anything until they came upon the hollow.

"Where did this come from?" one of the ugly creatures wondered, reaching down into the hollow to grab his pack. Kili remained absolutely still, not daring to even breathe. Still the goblins didn't seem to notice him.

"Looks like some blighter's been diggin' his way up," one observed, following the trail of handholds back over the edge.

"But where is he now?"

"Must've fallen back off again. Only an idiot would go stompin' around up here without his supplies."

"Maybe he's gone off somewhere. Maybe he'll be back."

"Gone off where? There's no place to hide. If he isn't dead, he's back at the castle, and there's no way he could've got in without us seein'."

"Maybe we should tell the master…bring the pack back to him…"

"Nothin' to eat in there, is there?" the goblin who seemed to be in charge asked the one who held the pack as he sniffed it.

"No, nothin'."

"We'll take it back to the master, then," the leader decided, rounding the goblins up and heading the way back to the fortress. Amazed that they hadn't seen him, Kili decided to press his luck and follow them.

Keeping close, but not too close, the young prince followed behind. If his luck held out, he might just be able to enter the fortress. How was it they couldn't see him?

When the goblins approached the fortress a drawbridge lowered to let them in and Kili followed, glancing down to see that the bridge spanned a chasm that fell down and away into empty air. It seemed that the fortress was floating on its own little island of ice, separate from the surrounding landscape. As if the environment wasn't already inhospitable enough…

No one saw Kili as he crept inside…and when he passed a large mirror in the main entry, he realized why. He had no reflection. Somehow…he was well and truly invisible. But…how? The last treasure? The blanket? Protection. It must be so. Breathing a sigh of relief, Kili drew the fabric up to his nose, breathing in the scent of his baby son.

"Thank you, my darlings. You _have_ helped. You've given me exactly what I needed," he whispered in thanks. The rest, it seemed, was up to him.

XxX

Thrain was just nearing the end of things with Fili when the goblins interrupted them. The blond dwarf was rocking wildly atop his hips, coming with a loud snarl as the goblins clambered into their chamber.

"I believe…we've been through this," he said, not looking at his lackeys as he forced the blond dwarf to continue riding him, though he was badly over-stimulated. "You do _not_ disturb me when I'm with my grandson."

"But Master…we thought you might like to know…there could be an intruder."

The unexpectedness of the statement caused the former king to let go his release with a grunt. Fili collapsed against him with a high whine, trembling as his body was filled. As he held Fili cradled against him, like a pet on his lap, he tangled his fingers in his golden hair, stroking him. Fili's gaze had long since gone completely black.

As Thrain cuddled his prize in possessive arms, he looked expectantly at the goblins.

"Well?"

Finally one of them came forward, laying a traveler's pack beside them on the bed.

"We found that this mornin', near the edge…only no sign of any owner. We thought maybe he'd fell off…or that…maybe…he'd gotten in somehow," the leader said nervously.

"But how could he…without being seen?" Thrain wondered aloud as he examined the pack.

"Just what we was thinkin' milord. Impossible, ain't it?"

"Even so…keep your eyes open," Thrain said, continuing to stroke his pet. "Now get out. We haven't quite finished yet."

Immediately, the gaggle of goblins scurried form the chamber, leaving their master and his doll alone. Thrain didn't really move to continue playing, though. He just went on staring at the pack, his suspicion hardening into certainty as he took in the details. After all, there was only one in all the world who had both the nerve and the determination to climb all the way up here.

"Kili," he said quietly….and when the two simple syllables pierced Fili's ears, briefly, his eyes flickered blue.

"Ki…li…" he repeated, and rage immediately flared up in Thrain's eyes. With a shout of anger, he struck Fili hard across the face, sending him sprawling across the bed.

Fili lay there for several moments, whimpering in pain, before picking himself back up and crawling back to Thrain's side, nuzzling his head against his shoulder and whining plaintively. Already his gaze had sunk back into the animal blackness. It was…troublesome…that mere mention of the name could so easily break his power over Fili. What might happen if he actually laid eyes on his former lover?

"I think, perhaps, you need some more potion, my little one…something stronger."

XxX

Once Kili had gotten himself fed, he took great care in exploring as much of the fortress as possible, wanting to know as much as he possibly could before confronting Thrain…before trying to find Fili. When he felt fairly certain of his feet, though, he came upon a stairway he hadn't noticed before. Hearing voices from above, Kili followed them. Maybe…this was where Thrain was keeping Fili?

The room he wound up in was nothing like a cell or a bedchamber or anywhere else one might keep a prisoner, though. It was more…like a kitchen. There were tables lined with boiling concoctions…with bottles and packets, oils and powders, all manner of ingredients…and in the middle of it all was Thrain, hard at work over a larger cauldron.

"You mustn't give it to him all at once," a voice that was not Thrain's sounded from somewhere in the room. "A brew that powerful would surely kill the poor boy. Three doses at the very most."

"I'm aware. It isn't my intent to kill him. Only to erase what he once was. He was awakened today…by his brother's name."

Kili felt his heart flutter as he listened. Fili still remembered him? Then there really was hope. He hadn't come all this way for nothing.

"Not a good sign. It _would_ take a potion as potent as that to wipe out such a strong memory."

"I know. This will do its work well…and I'll no longer have to deal with that foolish dwarfling. I will make it so that Fili wouldn't know him even if he walked in here now and kissed him on the lips. Fili will be _mine,_" he snarled, dipping a ladle into his cauldron and beginning to fill a bottle with the ominous-looking liquid. He filled three bottles in this way, setting them all on one of his workbenches.

"And what do you mean to do about the little one?"

"He's here somewhere. I _know_ it. Kili will suffer a fate much worse than death for daring to defy me. He should have just left his brother to me."

Kili felt anger churning in his gut as he listened to Thrain talk…as if Fili were a piece of property…something he _owned_…the thought made him sick. He almost didn't hear the last of the conversation.

"Now if you'll excuse me, Master, there are several preparations to be made for the feast," the former king said, taking the first bottle from the workbench and tucking it into his cloak. Kili waited until he could no longer hear his grandfather's footsteps before moving himself into action.

If the potion was meant to erase Fili's memory for good, then the first thing to do was to get rid of it. So he carried the two bottles to the nearest window, uncorked them, and upended them, scattering the contents into the abyss far below. Then he took out the stuffed bear from where it was tucked in his cloak. As he set up, he prayed fervently for what he needed…something pure and clean…something that would help Fili fight the effects of the potion. When a large crystal goblet appeared between him and the bear, he was relieved to see that his faith was rewarded with spring water: cold, clear spring water. Smiling, the prince quickly poured the contents of the goblet into the two potion bottles. That taken care of, the next order of business…was Thrain.

Kili was nowhere near the master herb lore-ist Oin was, but he had learned enough to know how to spot danger among all the disparate ingredients. He _knew_ how to make poison. So that was what he began to gather in the still smoking cauldron.

When Kili had enough of the vile brew, he gathered a bottle of it, also taking the time to paint one of his daggers with the deadly stuff. He used everything, making certain not to leave any evidence behind. Just as he was readying to leave, though, that same voice suddenly came to him.

"Just because I can't see you doesn't mean I don't know you're there."

Freezing in fear, Kili slowly turned his head in the direction of the voice…and found it to be coming from a mirror set up near the main work cauldron.

"A very powerful magic you've got there, little one…the baby dwarf, I'd wager. Don't think anything you can do here will be enough to change your brother's fate. No mere child is going to defeat _my_ successor."

Saruman, Kili finally realized. A wizard long dead, consciousness reflected in an enchanted mirror…but he couldn't let himself listen to the old one. He _couldn't_ just give up!

"You are nothing, dwarfling. He will _crush_ you!" the voice from the mirror snarled. When Kili actually looked to the glass surface, he could almost swear he saw something swirling in its depths.

Shaking all over, Kili finally pulled himself away. He couldn't remain here any longer. He _had_ to find Fili.

XxX

After his hours spent mapping out the fortress, it didn't even take Kili an hour to find the room where Fili was being kept.

When he entered, he found his brother sleeping alone in a very large bed. Sleeping like this, Fili actually looked…peaceful. Had…had Thrain somehow managed to take his pain from him? What if…Fili really _was_ better off here…not having to remember what he'd been forced to do?

"I love you," Kili said softly as he stood beside the bed, watching his brother sleep. "I love you so much. I only…want what's best for you."

Quite suddenly, Kili felt the baby inside of him kick and he truly remembered where they were: in a cage…under a spell. There was _nothing_ better about this.

_Fili belongs with __**me**__…with me and the children,_ he reminded himself. Smiling weakly, he moved a little closer, reaching out to stroke Fili's hair. Fili moved a little closer in his sleep. Kneeling, he came even nearer, inhaling the familiar scent of his lover…still there, despite the rank scents of Thrain and his goblins.

"I _will_ save you," he vowed, brushing his lips over Fili's cheek. "No matter what."

All of a sudden, Fili woke up. Kili tumbled back in shock, struck by the sight of his black gaze.

For a moment, he thought Fili could actually see him, but then that intense gaze began to wander as the blond dwarf gave several low, animalistic whines.

_What's he done to you?_

Kili tried desperately to find some trace of the dwarf he loved in those black eyes, but no matter how he tried, he could find nothing. What if he was too late? What if he had already lost Fili forever?

Except…Thrain had said he'd been brought back briefly by the sound of his name. What might happen if he actually _saw_ him? The moment Kili was thinking of removing the blanket, though, was the moment the door to the chamber was thrown open.

"Ah, you're awake, my pretty one," Thrain said, smiling eagerly as he came to his pet. Kili quickly backed away, pressing himself up against the wall. He couldn't get out.

Fili got to his knees as Thrain approached the bed, revealing he'd been naked beneath the blankets he'd slept under. Thrain reached out to stroke his hair…just as Kili had done…and Kili was slightly horrified to see him lean into the touch, lowing contentedly.

"Mm, that's right. You know who you belong to, don't you. I've got something for you," he said, withdrawing the bottle of potion from his cloak. He held Fili's head back, fist clenched tightly in his gold tresses, and Fili automatically opened his mouth, allowing Thrain to pour the potion down his throat.

"Yes, that's it…drink up. Just a few more nights and you will lose your pain forever."

Kili couldn't stop himself from flinching at these words…this reminder that he had hurt Fili just as badly as Fili had hurt him. Either fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how one looked at the situation, he was soon drawn from these thoughts by the sight of what was happening on the bed.

Thrain had exposed himself…and drawn Fili's head down to his sex, which the younger dwarf was now working intently with his mouth. Fingers knotted in the luscious golden hair, Thrain's head was thrown back, jaw slack as he groaned in pleasure.

"Ooh, _yes_…just like that, little one," he urged, shuddering in delight as he held Fili against him. The sounds that came from his mouth were almost obscene and Kili felt anger boiling hot in his belly.

Just as it seemed that Thrain was about to spend himself, though, he harshly shoved Fili away from him, sending him sprawling across the blankets. Then Thrain pounced, straddling Fili, even though he was still fully clothed. It wasn't long before the old dwarf was pounding his grandson into the mattress, drawing loud, harsh animal noises from the young, willing body beneath him.

Kili looked away, fearing he would be sick if he watched anymore. He couldn't block out the sounds, though…Thrain's groans and growls of possession, Fili's whimpered and whined sounds of pleasure…the sound of their bodies moving together…of Thrain calling his brother his little _whore_…

Kili wanted so badly to _do_ something, to step in and put a stop to this terrible perversion…to stop his brother being _violated_ like this…but he also knew that if he made a move now and he wasn't fast enough, all would be lost. He would have to bear this…until the time was right.

So the prince crouched against the wall, huddled in on himself in misery, silent witness to the heinous act of depravity.

_Fili…I'm so sorry…sorry I couldn't protect you from this…but I __**will**__ put a stop to it. I swear. I swear on our babies' lives I will get you out of here._

XxX

_The killing blow was struck only two nights later, before the fortress' entire complement of inhabitants._

_ The former king of the dwarves very much enjoyed holding feasts for the inhabitants of the stronghold, both to ensure continued loyalty and to remind them all who was in control. More recently, he had been using the opportunity to show off his prize. He would show them all how obedient and doting his little pet was and, if he was feeling particularly generous, he might even let the goblins have a little fun of their own with him. It would be the perfect opportunity to draw the young prince out into the open._

_ The young prince, of course, didn't understand the significance of the feasting, but certainly made use of the first opportunity he had to poison his grandfather's drink._

_ Of course, the former king had not come to take over from his old mentor by being easily deceived._

XxX

Kili had mostly been able to ignore the scent of the goblins over the last few days, but it was much harder with so many of them in close quarters like this, all drinking and feasting and engaged in a general sense of debauchery. It was a sight he wished he could forget, but didn't think he would ever be able to. He wasn't sure he'd be able to forget _anything_ about this dreadful place after the things he'd seen his few days within its walls. Today might be the end of it…if only Thrain would take even just a tiny sip from his poisoned goblet. But the former king just didn't seem interested in the goblet of wine. He was more interested in showing Fili off to the denizens of his fortress…more interested in making Fili eat off his plate and petting him in places that made Kili want to castrate him. Sometimes he wasn't certain what was keeping him from tearing Thrain apart.

Kili somehow managed to wait at the perimeter of the great hall, watching intently and avoiding running into anyone, thinking that the moment would come soon…expecting the goblet to be raised at any moment. What he did _not_ expect, though, was for Thrain to suddenly make an announcement to the hall at large.

"I know you're here, Kili," he said, his voice booming like thunder. "You may as well come out."

For a moment, Kili was too stunned to react, but then managed to steel himself. Thrain couldn't really know that for sure, after all. Perhaps he was only guessing. Well, the young prince had no intention of confirming it for him. At least, that was the original plan.

"No?" Thrain pressed, sounding disappointed. Then he shrugged and picked up his goblet. "Perhaps _this_ might persuade you, then."

So saying, Thrain raised the goblet to _Fili's_ lips, readying to tip some of the poisoned drink down his throat.

"_No! STOP!_" Kili screamed, finally throwing off the blanket and sprinting forward. Thrain sneered at him as he approached, then laughed as he tossed the goblet away, spilling the poisoned wine along the stone floor.

"Did you truly take me for that much of a fool? Did you really think I wouldn't find out you'd been messing around in my potions stores? Well, you'll pay for your foolishness, little boy…pay with your _life._"

"Wait!" Kili pleaded, dropping to his knees before Thrain's makeshift throne. "Please…Your Highness…let me speak to my brother…one last time."

Thrain's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why?"

"Please," he begged, eyes cast down. "If I am to die…just one last time…one last time…"

Thrain thought for several moments before nodding slowly. After all, he didn't trust the boy, but where was the harm in it? He had already given Fili the last two doses of potion. Fili belonged to him…forever…and nothing Kili did could ever call him back.

"You may have your last words…but when he fails to respond to you, I will let the goblins have you…you _and_ his child. Are we understood?"

"Of course."

"Then approach."

Kili climbed slowly to his feet, unsteady for a moment. As he walked toward Thrain and Fili, he truly began to feel the weight of the little one he carried. Prior to this moment, he'd experienced fairly typical aspects of pregnancy, but he hadn't really _felt_ his child…not as he had with the first three. It was almost like they were frozen in time, waiting for some undetermined moment when they would truly be parent and child. Only now…now that he walked toward what may well be his end…did he truly feel the heaviness in his body. If this last resort failed, they would both be lost and Fili would remain a prisoner forever.

_I'm sorry, my little one…sorry to bring you into such danger…but I __**must**__ save your father. If you knew him, you would understand._

Fili sat crouched at the foot of the throne, head leaning against Thrain's thigh, staring at nothing in particular. Coming straight to him, Kili knelt in front of him, placing a hand on the floor between them.

"Fili? It's me. It's your brother."

Fili just stared right through him, his gaze as black as ever.

"Fili…I've come to save you. Don't you recognize me?"

Still no reaction.

Kili felt his throat tightening and tears gathering in his eyes as he reached his hand toward Fili, laying it gently on his knee. He shuddered when Fili flinched at the touch.

"If you can hear me, Fili…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. _I_ brought you to this. I know I did. I turned from you when you needed me most. Maybe I should have fought…that night…but I didn't know what else to do. I was just…so tired of _everything_…but that's no excuse, is it," he said softly, reaching the hand up to Fili cheek. "Not for leaving you to suffer like this. I deserve this…I know…for letting you face what happened alone. I believe…you were hurt the worse that night…and for letting it happen, I don't deserve you. You deserve to be at peace…after everything you've been through…and if this is the way you can have it, then I'll let you go. I think _I'm_ the one who needs forgiveness for that night. _You_ were the one who really had no choice…but because I know you…and I know how you felt…I just wanted you to know that I don't blame you. I _never_ blamed you. I love you, my Fili. I will _always_ love you," he said, tears spilling down his cheeks as he leaned forward, pressing a tender kiss to his brother's lips. Then, not daring to look, he began to pull away, but that was when he felt a hand grip his.

Fili's eyes hadn't changed at all while he'd been talking and they hadn't now. Fili wasn't even looking at him…but he was gripping his hand like a lifeline, his body trembling.

"Ki…li…"

At first, Kili was too overcome to even react. He continued to weep as he gripped his brother's hand in return.

"Fili…you _do_ remember me," he cried softly.

"No!" Thrain shouted, leaping to his feet. "It's _impossible!_ It's nothing but a trick!" he raged, shoving Kili away from Fili. "Feast, my goblins, upon this deceiver, this son of deceivers. Let him know what it means to defy me!"

"_Fili!_" Kili cried out in horror as the wave of goblins descended on him, tearing at him. It wouldn't take them long to tear him to pieces.

Fili stared, eyes still black, before screaming, "_KILI!_" and throwing himself at the writhing mass.

As much as he hated them, Kili hadn't thought he would ever be relieved to see Fili's black eyes, but when he heard his brother call his name before leaping after him and saw those black eyes above him, he couldn't help but smile. Reaching for his belt, he drew out the poisoned blade, holding it up through the throng of grasping, tearing hands.

"Take it. Kill him. Finish it," he urged.

"But…what about you? Have to…get _you_ out first," he insisted, grasping Kili wrist.

"No. You have to do it. Kill him _now._ Just _end it._ It's the only way."

Swallowing hard, Fili acknowledged that Kili was right, taking the dagger from him and slipping free of the mass.

"Fili, come away!" Thrain ordered harshly. As far as he could tell, Fili's eyes were still black. He was still his.

For a moment, Fili stood facing half away from Thrain, the blade concealed. Then, in a flash of movement, he was leaping at Thrain, burying the dagger in his heart.

"You won't…use me for this," he hissed, gaze as black as ever. "You won't use _me_…to hurt Kili…anymore."

Delivered directly into his blood by the dagger, the deadly poison did its work quickly. Thrain smiled eerily at Fili, reaching up to grasp his wrists as his blood painted the younger dwarf's front, hot and black.

"You are…no better," he whispered to him. "Your gaze…is as black…as your soul."

With that, the old dwarf slumped against his grandson and died. Fili slunk back, disgusted and horrified.

When the mass of dark creatures realized what had happened they fell still, then pulled back from Kili.

"The master is dead. The master is dead!" The cry arose throughout the hall. At last, the goblins began to run wild, completely ignoring the two brothers. Turning away from the sight of Thrain, Fili rushed directly to Kili.

"We've got to get out of here," he said as he helped his little brother to his feet. There were cuts and bruises, but Kili was blessedly in one piece.

"Proper…warm clothes for you first," Kili mumbled dazedly. He really didn't care for the black get up Thrain had him dressed in.

Picking their way back through the amok goblins to Thrain's quarters, they managed to locate some proper clothing for the freezing temperatures. Kili didn't know what had become of his gear, but he had Fili back and he had his three treasures. Nothing more was needed. As quickly as they could, the pair fled the fortress. Kili's trail up through the ice was still intact and they used it to return to the earth, the climb somehow seeming much shorter to Kili on the way down than it had on the way up.

Throughout all of this, Fili's eyes remained black.

XxX

_Over the next several weeks, as the princes traveled south, the elder's eyes did not change, and he feared this. The younger prince constantly attempted to reassure him, but he was terrified that he would somehow be led to harm his brother again, so he kept his distance. When they were among other dwarves, he wore a blindfold, just as his brother had those seven long years…to keep people from seeing the truth of what he was._

_ As the young prince's pregnancy entered its final and most difficult months, their progress was slowed even further. They would have to stop for several days at a time to allow him to rest. Near the end, each village they stopped in urged them to remain until the birth, but they always refused. They wanted to reach home…even though they were growing less and less certain they would as the days flew by._

XxX

The two brothers were in the middle of a forest when Kili stopped Fili. The younger brother was riding a pony the last village had given to them while Fili walked in front.

"Fili…we…we need to stop."

"Are you well?" Fili asked, turning to look up at him.

"No, I…the baby's coming now."

"_Now?_" he repeated, black eyes going wide in mild horror. "But…but it's too _soon._ It's _much_ too soon." Nearly a month too soon if he was keeping count correctly. A midwife in one of the previous villages had informed them the baby would arrive early in the summer and it was hardly the middle of spring yet.

"Doesn't – matter," Kili groaned, leaning forward in the saddle. "Babies will come when they want…not – _hngh_ – when it's convenient."

"How long have you been laboring?"

"About three hours now would be my guess. I was hoping we might make the next town and I didn't want you to worry. But we aren't going to make it. There isn't enough time," he said, groaning even louder as another pain gripped his body.

"We've got to do this _alone?_" Fili asked as he helped Kili down from the pony.

"We're not alone," Kili reassured him as he carried him to a clearing away from the path. "We've got each other."

Fili said nothing to this. Instead, he nervously went about preparing for the delivery, making Kili comfortable and boiling water and other such things. He was on the verge of panic but Kili remained calm throughout. External circumstances not withstanding, this pregnancy had not been particularly difficult, especially considering the fact that he'd gotten pregnant again only five months after giving birth. Besides, he didn't imagine anything could be worse than giving birth to the twins. His body knew what to do

No one had ever made a proper medical study of the king consorts. All they knew was that the body somehow shifted to deliver naturally, as opposed to resorting to cutting into the womb, as was sometimes necessary when a birth was going badly. Kili didn't feel there would be a need for anything so drastic, though. It was all going well…save for the fact that the father was just about panicking.

As Kili lay against a tree, bearing down on his brother's hand while he pushed, his thoughts could really only go in one direction in order to distract himself from the pain.

"What are you afraid of?" Kili demanded, trying not to shout.

"What do you mean?"

"You hardly look at me. This is the first time you've touched me for any length of time."

"Now?" Fili hissed as Kili's grip tightened. "You want to talk about this _now?_"

"Thrain's gone. He can't hurt us anymore. What are you afraid of?!" he repeated, just on the verge of shouting.

"I'm afraid of myself!" the elder finally shouted, pounding a fist against the ground, echoing the words he'd spoken more than seven years ago…before this had all begun.

Silence reigned for several moments before a whispered "Why?" escaped Kili's lips.

"My eyes are still black. What does that _mean?_ Thrain said…that I'm not any different from him. What if I go off crazy like he did? What if the eyes are just the beginning? What if…next time…I'm not _forced_ to hurt you?"

"There won't _be_ a next time," Kili insisted. "You are _nothing_ like Thrain. _Nothing._ He just couldn't stand to see you go free, so he had to try to blacken our love. You can't let him drag you down like this. You can't let him win!"

"But what do I _do?!_"

"Fili…" Kili started, giving up on the argument and releasing Fili's hand. "Fili, this is it."

Also forgetting the shouting that had been happening only moments before, Fili moved down his brother's body. Whatever else was going on between them, in a true moment of crisis, they were of one mind. The baby had crowned already and unless Fili was much deceived, he thought he was seeing white hair.

Fili waited patiently while Kili pushed, arms outstretched. When the baby had come far enough, he gently took its head in his hands, guiding it the rest of the way out.

Fili took several moments to look over the little boy, for indeed, he was a boy and he _did_ have an already thick mop of white hair atop his head. Unlike most babies, he wasn't crying, just gurgling softly, making the occasional face like he _meant_ to cry, but then thought better of it. He was small, even smaller than Nuri had been, but he seemed healthy enough. Also, where most newborns had blue eyes, this child's eyes could only be described as silver. Fili couldn't quite stop staring as he took the baby to be washed. That taken care of, he wrapped the boy in Nuri's blanket and carried him to Kili, who smiled as he took their son in his arms.

"He's a little odd…that child," Fili said softly.

Kili nodded. "And so beautiful. He was conceived in sadness, but he will be loved…just as much as his brothers and sister."

"Had you…thought of any names?"

"I was thinking about…Kaz. Do you like it?"

"Kaz," Fili said aloud, trying it out, and finally nodding. "Yes. It's a strong name. Our Kaz will be strong…just like a white bear."

Kili looked up at his brother when he said these words, sensing the hesitancy in them. Shifting Kaz so that he held him in one arm, he reached a hand up to lay it on Fili's face, stroking his thumb gently across his cheek.

"I know they disturb you…the similarities…the white hair…the eyes…but they're nothing to be ashamed of. Kaz is beautiful. He is innocent and he is _good_…and he came from _you._ So there must be something good in you, too. There's something good in _both_ of us…that we could create this precious child…despite the darkness…despite the hurt we have caused each other. I think…because the hurt is so great…Kaz is that much more beautiful…and I will praise Mahal everyday that he is mine…mine and yours."

As the words tumbled from Kili's mouth, Fili found that he couldn't help but smile. Leaning into his brother's touch, he closed his eyes, savoring the press of his skin. As tears of both joy and sorrow trickled down his cheeks, he turned his head slightly to kiss the palm of Kili's hand.

"I'm sorry," he finally allowed himself to say. "I'm sorry I left you…sorry I never talked to you. I was just…I hated myself so much…that I didn't want to see how much you still loved me. I don't…want Thrain to take our love away from us."

"He never will…because I will never stop loving you."

"Can you forgive me?" Fili asked, hands falling into Kili's lap like a suppliant. "Forgive me what I did to you that night…and for giving up…for leaving you?"

Kili smiled, tears shining in his own eyes as he nodded. "I told you I never blamed you, but if you ask it of me…then I forgive you."

"Thank you," Fili whispered, looking as if the light of heaven had shone down upon his face.

"Can _you_ forgive _me?_" Kili asked. "For leaving you alone in your hour of need…for not fighting harder to stop what happened?"

"As you said…I didn't blame you for that, but I forgive you…and I love you all the better. You never gave up hope…even when the night was darkest. You came for me. You fought the shadows and you came for me."

"How could I do anything else? I love you."

"And _I_ love _you,_" Fili said softly, leaning in to tenderly kiss his brother's lips…and when they parted, a joyful smile lit Kili's face.

"What is it? What are you looking at?" Fili asked him.

"Your _eyes_. They…they aren't black anymore."

Briefly, the blond dwarf reached a hand to his face, wishing he could see. He felt relief spread through him like a healing balm.

"You can't imagine…how much I've missed seeing those eyes. When I was at my lowest…all I could think about was seeing your eyes again…and that thought kept me going…somehow."

"Well…you'll never have to do without them again. We'll never be apart…and soon the whole family will be together again," he said, leaning down to drop a kiss on Kaz's tiny head. The baby kicked out one little foot, burbling sweetly.

"Fili…let's go home."

XxX

It was a sunny day late in May when Thorin and Bilbo decided to take the children out for a picnic…to let them get away from the city and see where their parents' favorite picnic spot was. The two rulers were sitting on a blanket with their heads leaning together, watching Duri and the twins play tag when the two figures emerged from the forest. Thorin was about to call out a warning to the little ones, but Duri realized the truth before he did.

"Papa!" Duri shouted in delight, immediately forgetting the game and racing toward the two new figures. Nuri and Shiri were a little more hesitant, but they trusted their brother, so they followed after him.

The moment Duri reached them, Kili swept him up in his arms, spinning him around, though he was also careful of the baby strapped to his back.

"Oh, my little treasure, I've missed you so," Kili said quietly into his firstborn's dark hair.

"I missed you, too, Papa," Duri said, clinging tightly to him.

"And Duri…this is your father," Kili said, turning Duri to look at Fili, who smiled almost shyly. Duri eagerly reached out his arms for Fili, who hesitated only a moment before taking him from Kili.

"Hello, Duri."

"Hi," the little boy said, his face bright with excitement.

"Did you know you have a new baby brother?"

Duri shook his head, glancing around excitedly. "A new one? Where?"

"Right there," Fili said, turning him to Kili once more, so that he could see the baby strapped to his back. "His name is Kaz."

"Hi, Kaz!" Duri called out, waving at the baby. "Guess what. I'm your big brother."

"And these two strapping young dwarflings must be Nuri and Shiri," Kili said, dropping down to crouch before the twins. Briefly, he felt a pang of sadness at how much the twins had grown. They were little more than a year old…and already running around on their stubby little legs. Nuri had a flower tucked behind his ear and Shiri's face was covered with dirt. Despite the sadness, Kili found himself falling in love with them all over again.

"Nuri, Shiri, this is Papa," Duri explained. They both looked confused.

"Gan-pa?" Shiri asked, pointing back to the picnic blanket. Duri shook his head.

"No. _Papa,_" he said slowly, deliberately. "Papa loves you."

Kili held his arms wide for the twins, offering them a small smile. "He's right, my little emeralds. I love you both…so much."

Shiri eyed him for several more minutes but, finally deciding it was okay, entered the circle of his arms, and Nuri, doing anything his twin did, quickly followed suit. Kili pulled them up into a tight hug.

"I've missed you more than words can say, my treasures," Kili said, kissing each of them, and once the children and Fili had all been introduced, the two princes carried their four babies back across the meadow to greet their own parents…finally home…finally free.

XxX

_The two princes did not waste even one second of their new life. They loved each other every minute and they were loving, doting parents…and when the time came, they were wise and just rulers._

_ And of course, because you are wondering, they did indeed live happily ever after._

XxX

(A/N) Well, as always I hope my little tale was enjoyed. Next on the docket...Little Red Riding Hood!


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